Mamasue, my daughter was in the same situation, but went to 2 pref parties and was dropped. She heard "this never happens" and "the computer messed up" but there it was - she was crushed, and I was devastated. (She got over it WAY quicker than I did
.) She did go ahead and sign up for COB, and about 3 weeks later, she was called by her top choice (NOT a top tier group, but the one she loved) to come to lunch. Soon she was a pledge...especially after 3 or 4 of the 56 they pledged quit.
So...it can happen.
Fast foward 4 years...I am helping out at the house during rush, and she comes upstairs during a break during their membership selection. She is mad...why? Because the sorority can only invite back X number, and they cannot invite back even close to the number of girls that they truly liked. So they were having to cut - blindly, across the board, just to get the number down.
So yes, it is entirely possible that it was not personal.
But believe me, I know exactly how you feel!