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It's a mix of factors, and the PNMs don't get that much control. Dropping out when they don't like their remaining options is one of the few decisions that they do get to make. (Even signing a bid card, unless you suicide, you might get your second or third choice.)
Unless we expect them just to be a the mercy of the groups' selection and matching process all the way through, I think that we have to see that dropping out is no worse than a group cutting a girl after first based one 15 minute interaction. Sure, it's short sighted, but I don't think it's fair to the women to call them the superficial ones when really the worst we can honestly say is that they are AS superficial not more so.
SEC recruitment makes you crazy. I think it's really important for moms and dads to make sure that they don't make is seem like a bigger deal than it is. I firmly believe daughters would be better off with parents who took the attitude that "hey, that's a setback, but now what are you going to do? When we toured campus, you mentioned that you really wanted to be on the group that. .. have you looked into that?"
If you try to ride in on your white horse to rescue her, it sends the message that the setback is more important than it is. It also sends the message that she should look to you primarily for comfort at a stage of life and an occasion of such little longterm significance that it might be much better to encourage her to go out and do something herself.
Spending the day with mom means it was a day spent not meeting new college friends and sets her apart further.
Now, I know that Auburn's bid day involves parents, so it might really be nice to have you there. But push her ahead of this disappointment, don't wallow in it with her or attach any significance to it.
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