Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmajeep
Hello everyone,
I'll tell you my story in short and I really want advice from those who can tell me the truth on what I should do.
I have a girlfriend and we are serious. We've been together for a while and I plan on being with her for a while. I really want to join a certain fraternity for so many reasons. I've found that these are all guys I get along with, trust, and really want to be apart of this fraternity for the brothers and the fun with the brothers that I will have. On the other hand, my girlfriend thinks that the fraternity is going to force me to do things that are going to destroy our relationship. Things like force me to take other girls to closed socials, make me go to events/retreats where we go to stripclubs, ect, ect.
I have the attitude that I want to join because its something that is important to me, and I have lots of idea of how I can help better the fraternity and become close with the guys. But my girlfriend is also important to me, and if I feel like they force me to do things that are going to tear my relationship apart and are against my own morals (I will NOT go to a stripclub regardless...I just refuse to support somethin like that honestly).
Now, please honestly answer this question. Will it be a problem?
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To echo the others, it should not be a problem. There will probably be some rocky times but also long as you keep communication open it should be fine. As for taking other girls to closed socials, I have not heard of it. Maybe it is just not a part of our campus culture, but guys can take whomever they want to formals (greek or non Greek). You'll probably have swaps with other sororities. I know there is some rowdy behavior during pledging and membership but if you're not comfortable with something in the first place make that clear. If you reassure her and keep her aware of what's going on (not rituals, but events), things should go smoothly.