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To my roommate: You're a sweetheart but I just have to say...cleaning the room doesn't mean taking the clothes that are scattered all over the floor and piling them into one huge pile in the corner of the room. Have you ever heard of a CLOSET? or a LAUNDRY BASKET? Go to your sorority meetings and activities! Did you join just to wear the shirts?
To my roommate's boyfriend: STOP CALLING EVERY FIVE MINUTES! You're obsessed! You're in HIGHSCHOOL, she's in COLLEGE. No one in this room wakes up at 6am, nor do we have a regular schedule in which we are always finished with classes by 3pm. She has a cell phone, too, ya know!?!?!
To my English prof: You're a jerkass!!! English was my favorite general studies subject until I met YOU!
To my Psych prof: Two words-- FASHION POLICE! Since when is it cool to wear cowboy boots with khakis?!? Your hair is unruly too...ever heard of a PAIR OF SCISSORS and a COMB?
To my Big Sis: how the heck are you so HAPPY all the time?!? We need to hang out more so it can rub of on me!
To my future Lil Sis: I'm GONNA SPOIL YOU ROTTEN!
To Mama Bunny: Hook me up with a hot guy already! Didn't you say you like to play matchmaker?
To the DUMBASS in my Psych class: you're an IDIOT! Don't waste the class time asking the Professor off-the-wall questions that have NOTHING to do with subject matter!!! Everyone LAUGHS AT YOU!!!!! HAHAHAHA!
To the SMOOTHIE GUY: Do you work out? You're a HOTTIE! Sometimes I go to get a smoothie just so I can watch you make it! Grind, it baby, smooth...that's right! teehee
To the people in my DORM: Why must you SCREAM incessantly at 3am just for the hell of it?!? FLUSH THE TOILETS. Don't use all the HOT WATER! Please refrain from turning up the base on your CD players between 3am and Noon on weekdays!!!
To the DINING SERVICE: Ever heard of VEGETARIAN options?!?
To the GUYS on campus: Just because we're 34 miles from MUSIC CITY doesn't mean it's cool to dress like Garth freakin Brookes! It's also not cool to wear pants so baggy that they're down to your butt crack! This is not the ghetto. What it all boils down to is DON'T wear pants that are too TIGHT or too BAGGY!
To the GIRLS on campus: No one wants to see your THONG! That's just NASTY! Save it for the contests held at Bar Nashville! No one wants to hear about how many guys you gave oral sex to in one night! And for God's SAKE don't bad-mouth other sororities/fraternities in public! You never know who might be listening---and that just gives YOU and YOUR GLO a bad image!
To EVERYONE on campus: Walk a little FASTER please! This is NOT a shopping mall where you have to stop and GAWK and everything! SOME of us actually want to get to class ON TIME once in a while!
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