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Originally Posted by FSUZeta
you know, i had a similar experience when i moved to tulsa, ok and tried to get involved with the alumnae chapter. i spent a good deal of the meeting sitting by myself while everyone around me visited with each other. most of the members had gone to the same college and actually lived in the chapter house at the same time. i left feeling very dejected and decided not to go back to another meeting.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katmandu
Oh, wow, this is my exact experience with alumni involvement--Different city, different GLO, but same impenetrable Iron Curtain...
The fourth time has proven to be the charm, but it took much persistence and determination on my part.
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I have been a resident of 4 different states since I joined GC, and I'm glad to read these anecdotes to confirm that this issue isn't exclusive to my own sorority.
It is very challenging to join an alumnae association when you are the new kid in town and 95% of the members come from the area collegiate chapter. It can be a very exclusive group, to the point where the group is crumbling because the members themselves are not welcoming of outsiders despite efforts made to include them in events.
I think this is just the culture of women, unfortunately, and it is very hard to change people. You can change yourself, however-- and make an extra effort. If that still isn't working, then this particular alum group isn't right for you. Which is sad, but that is the reality...
Alumnae associations exist mainly to keep us tied to the sorority, but when there are no real expecations to maintain your alumnae membership, I think it is easier to be excluded or to make an excuse as to why you don't want to make the effort. I guess that is why I have started questioning women who are "pursuing AI" -- there are no expectations for membership in NPC alumnae life, whereas collegiate Greeks have to hustle, pay dues and make the min. requirements just to retain their right to claim membership.
On a happier note, the OP showed great maturity to stick it out and make friends in the new chapter. Many new members to a sorority, once initiated, drop b/c they may find themselves in this position. Congrats to both of your ZTA chapters for recruiting such a wonderful member!