Quote:
Originally Posted by honeychile
AFAIK, Alpha Delta Pi requires a call - but this may be a chapter to chapter rule.
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I would think it is chapter to chapter. Or province to province / district to district. As Chapter Advisor I was never told to do it, and as CPD, I was told directly by my DTD NOT to do it....
On the whole subject of the thread, I guess my experiences have just been so different from everyone else's. I will give my disclaimer now that all of this is MY opinion and is NOT reflective of any policy of my sorority. As it currently stands, I wholeheartedly respect and agree with our legacy policies. I base all of my conclusions and opinions on these real-life experiences:
1. One of my chapters was raked over the coals on a different messageboard a couple of years ago. They had released an alumna's sister, and she was upset about it. She ranted about lack of respect for alumnae - just because her sister didn't get in. She thought her sister was fantabulous, but in real life was annoying the fire out of everyone by going around announcing that she was guaranteed a bid because of her legacy status. And that was the least of her indiscretions. This attitude (expressed by the alumna) does not heighten my desire to call alumnae or extend respect to them beyond the current requirements of our legacy policy.
2. Last fall, a chapter had 5 legacies going through recruitment with a new member class of 29. They released one and pledged the other 4. Of those 4, two had their membership cancelled the next semester. There were many wonderful PNMs who were not extended a bid to this chapter because they kept legacies that might not have been kept without that status.
3. It is a very common feeling amongst legacies that "they only like me because of my mom or sister. Do they really like me for me?" And when we make such a big deal about it, and even consider releasing or lowering the bid list "rank" of another PNM who IS liked better or who DOES have more assets, we are confirming their suspicions. I prefer that all new members be given equal treatment and consideration based on THEIR qualities, not those of their family. I would certainly hope that others base their opinions of me on me - not on my family.
4. I have had alumnae threaten chapters, threaten Universities, threaten Panhellenic, threaten ME, call Executive Office, call International Officers, and so much more - because their legacy was released. For every considerate or non-complaining alumna, I've dealt with 5 rude ones. Again, not heightening my desire to respect alumnae just because 20 years ago they were active.
5. When I do think respect for the alumna should be considered is when the sister has remained involved with the organization and given of her time and talents - to a chapter, to an alumnae association, to the sorority as a whole, or whatever. Even then, if the PNM isn't going to fit, she isn't going to fit. I know we hate using that cop-out, but I don't know how else to put it. Some people weren't cut out for Greek life. Many times they are pressured by their family members to do it, then they wind up dropping out. But not after having prevented someone with a genuine desire to be involved from being in the chapter.
The only way that I would consider calling an alumna is if she included a note with her legacy introduction forms explaining that should the PNM be released, she would not grill the chapter as to why, but she would prefer to notify her daughter / sister privately so as to avoid embarrassment for her in front of other PNMs.
I realize that my feelings are going to be considered harsh by some, but to me, there are many more reasons NOT to call than there are TO call.