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I'm not at all close to my big. I never once talked to her during recruitment, and she was assigned as my big on Bid Day. We've always had a pleasant enough relationship, but it stops at that. It didn't really help things that she took a second little in the pledge class after mine and was an infinitely better big to her than she ever was to me - for example, she didn't even offer to take me to the house for new member pinning as the bigs were instructed to do; I had to go with another new member who lived on my hall and her big. She and her other little went out and did stuff all the time during her pledge period. Every time I see her leave messages on her other little's wall that say "You're the best little EVER!!" or "I miss you sooo much!" it makes me a little sad. Her other little is much more bubbly than I am and their backgrounds are more similar (though I don't think she ever talked to this one during recruitment, either, and I know they didn't know each other before) so I guess they just had more in common, but it was always just a little frustrating when my pledge sisters would get invites from their bigs to do things all the time and I hardly ever even got an IM from mine.
Now, my own little and I have a much better relationship, although I still wouldn't characterize it as particularly close. I spoke to her during the first round of recruitment and I preffed her, so despite our big/little relationship being set in stone on Bid Day, I did know a little bit more about her than my big knew about me. We have a lot more in common than I do with my big, and I also made a great effort to be the big that I had hoped my own big would be. We were very friendly with each other at functions and around the house and interacted easily - I never felt like I was making small talk with her like I always did with my big. Unfortunately, we rarely made plans to hang out outside of that once her pledge period was over (she's also extremely involved in other campus activities, which makes it rather difficult to get ahold of her). However, I definitely feel that I will keep in touch with her now that I've graduated...not so much with my big.
I am glad to say, though, that my chapter has shifted away from assigning bigs and little on Bid Day and now gives the new members and sisters a couple weeks to get to know each other instead. Still not perfect, but it seems to have resulted in better pairings.
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