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Fourth Stage – Prefs –
Black dress with a dropped waist, a wide sash around the dropped waist with a bow on the side, and white piping trim. Borrowed pearls and black heels – and white pantyhose (shut up). I used the hot rollers but also teased my hair a little bit (not all out, I swear) to make sure it stayed big through all 3 parties. Instead of the baby blue, pink, and violet eye makeup that I usually wore, I used navy blue eyeliner with black mascara and medium blue eye shadow. I have blue eyes so this looked nice and was my “evening” look. (Even though prefs weren’t at night. The reason I know, to this day, that this was my make up is that this was really my standard “going out” make up for several years.) Still went with the pink shimmery lip stick.
Limerick: This party is ok. Tracy doesn’t pref me and I don’t even remember much about the ceremony. Frankly, I am really surprised to be here after the odd conversations last stage. The only part I really remember is that during the “selling” part of the party – the part where I was one-on-one with my rusher and we were supposed to have this intimate conversation, the active just tells me everything that this organization is great at nationally. Do you know what I mean? “So and so is a Limerick. Limerick is this and this and this.” It really turned me off. I am sure it impressed a lot of rushees, and the things she told me probably were things to be proud of, but it was just too much for me. I think I would like to be in this chapter, because I know that other girls like it. Jenn and Shar both didn’t like this chapter but had told me that it was still “good.”
Waterford: This party is pretty much a disaster for me. I remember telling another rushee that I was sure they would cut me. She laughed and said that they can’t cut you anymore! I didn’t understand what she meant by that. She was a legacy and knew a lot more than I did. She also told me that they pretty much had to give her a bid because her mom and sister were members. I took everything that girls like that said as if it were the gospel truth, because I didn’t know any better. The girl who rushed me asked me about my dad, which left me very uncomfortable. I think she just wanted to know what he did for a living, but my parents were divorced and the topic of him wasn’t a great one for me. She was like, “wow, your parents are divorced? Really?” As if I had just told her they were from Mars or something. (Of course divorce wasn’t quite as common back then.) She then asked where else I was preffing, and I remember her answer sort of encouraging me to like those chapters. She said something like, “I could really see you as a Limerick or a Kilkenny – even more so than a Waterford!” It gave me the impression that she was telling me that I was in no danger of becoming a Waterford. I was in panic mode after that comment. (I mean, really, who says that???)
Kilkenny: I was nervous to go to this party, because I felt like it was my last and only chance. I didn’t feel that the other 2 had gone well, and this was by far my favorite at this point anyway. I remember so much more detail at this one as well. Kim, from second stage, preffed me. It was great because the whole ceremony was emotional and she kept saying funny stuff under her breath which kept me from getting too emotional, which would have embarrassed me. The special singing ensemble sang and it was really good. I left there knowing what I wanted to be…
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Back in the classroom, the Rho Chis were very stern and wanted no talking. We were to rank the houses in order. Someone asks about suiciding. What??? Geez, first all this crying and getting counseling and now talks of suicide! The Rho Chis immediately explain as they see our looks of horror!
We can’t leave until everyone has filled out their cards. I want to ask about the comment the girl had made at the Waterford house about the sororities not being able to cut us but I don’t want to sound stupid so I keep my mouth shut. There is a brief explanation about bid matching that makes no sense to me, but I do remember something about how we are on a bid list, but it might not be the first bid list, so we should try to put first the chapter that put us first so we would get a bid there.
The rest of the rounds I have been pretty sure who I wanted to select and didn’t waste time mulling over it. This time though, I am truly torn. I know absolutely for sure where I want to go, but I think that the other chapters may be more popular – at least one of them for sure. I wouldn’t mind being the envy of my rush group and girls like Pam and Joelle. The thing that clinches it for me is a fleeting thought back to my high school. My high school was filled with very wealthy people. My own family had once done pretty well, but after my parents divorced things became more difficult. We weren't poor, but I was aware that things weren't as easy for us. I know in HS I intentionally worked at Marshall Fields because between the money I earned and the employee discount, I could “keep up” with the girls in school. Did I want that underlying feeling that I didn’t really fit in for 4 more years? I think too, I wanted to take control over the situation and rather than give them the opportunity to disappoint me, I would just cut them first. So, after thinking long and hard, I decide to just put one name down…
Kilkenny
When I turn it in, the Rho Chi asks if I am sure and I say I am. She tells me that the other 2 must want me or they wouldn’t have invited me to prefs. She says that we should talk about it, but I am very reluctant and tell her I am good with it. I would never have told a stranger that I was afraid of being cut. In retrospect, she was probably (hopefully) going to tell me I may be screwing myself over. I did not know the ramifications of suiciding. She also probably thought I was nuts because I had 2 very good chapters left that I didn’t list.
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