[sageofages]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

LOS ANGELES, California (UNN) -- Doctors at the UCLA Medical Center may have discovered the possible condition that may have kept Paris Hilton from completing her 23 day stay in a Los Angeles County Prison Facility. After taking the prerequisite blood tests and analysis obtained right after release, doctors today are about to conclude that Hilton suffered from a rare and severe form of Hyper Anal Glaucoma or H.A.G. Highly contagious in the prison population, very few are actually ever treated for it. No conclusive proof has been found linking any deaths directly to this disease. Her publicist remained mum on the subject but an inside source said that for the 72 hours that Hilton spent at the facility she kept repeating, "I can't see my ass in jail for another 3 weeks."

Calls to Hilton's home went unanswered.

Oh this just in over the wire...

"Ok, well just fine and dandy then...all well and good...

Put her bony, self obsessed, over indulged, petulent @ss in a secure medical/mental health facility. We wouldn't want her exposing the rest of the world to something contagious would we.....

signed

Andrew Speaker "