Quote:
Originally Posted by JessSigKap
Do you think Steph's comments got to you? Did you really not have anything to wear? It seems like you dropped out for no reason!  |
I think it was the combination of a lot of little things, rather than having one big reason to drop out:
- I signed up for rush on a whim the day before it started and hadn't fully thought out my reasons for rushing. Nor was I adequately prepared for rush. (Not prepared in the tangible sense - learning about sororities, knowing what questions to ask, planning what to wear. And not prepared in the intangible sense - being emotionally prepared for what rush would be like...the stress, what it would feel like to get cut, etc.)
- Negative influence of Steph certainly didn't help. She had a very overbearing personality. Yet, she was also well-liked on our floor (or so it seemed at the time, anyhow), and she was one of the first friends I made in the dorms.
- Coming to my huge university from my tiny hometown was a total culture shock. (My hometown had a total of about 3,000 people at the time...my university had over 40,000 undergraduates alone.) I was trying to adjust to all the differences while dealing with the stress of rush. Our rush schedule was pretty demanding - 2 days Phase A, 2 days Phase B, 1 day Phase C, 1 day Preference...with a post office day between each of them except Phase C and Preference. The whole rush experience was crammed into 10 days.
(If I recall correctly, things changed by the mid-90s...formal recruitment was spread out over several weekends to keep PNMs from getting overwhelmed like I did.)
- I really, truly didn't have anything to wear. 
Our campus atmosphere was pretty casual, and I knew that going in as a new freshman. (Did an overnight campus visit during my senior year in HS. 
) So, the dressiest clothes I brought from home with me were just barely suitable for Phase B. Phase C and Preference were on back to back days. I needed to do some serious shopping to find Phase C and Preference worthy clothes at the last minute!
- I suppose my disappointment about being cut from Mayor Quimby didn't help, though I wouldn't say it was a cruicial factor in me not going to Phase C. Although the girl I talked with extensively there basically came right out and told me that she wanted me for her little sister. (I didn't spell that out in my notes, so I didn't mention it during my description of Mayor Quimby's Phase B party. At the time, it didn't seem like a noteworthy or unusual comment to me - I didn't realize that a comment like that could be construed as "bid promising" or a rush violation. It just contributed to the overall connection I felt with her. BTW - I don't hold that comment against her...I now know that she was a newer member and going through rush from the chapter side for the first time. She was just learning the ropes herself. But, at the time, it hurt to go from having someone in that house "want you for a little sister" to not being invited back. )
None of these circumstances alone would have gotten to me, but everything combined started to make me feel stressed/uncertain enough that I ultimately just needed a break. It had been a bit of a whirlwind ride throughout rush, and I needed to step back and figure out what I really wanted before I got in over my head.