Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltAlum
With a slightly different situation to the original discussion, I would simply point out that some people (like our middle child -- a daughter now 27 years old) do make some very bad decisions, some (as they grow up) realize that and honestly try to realign their lives.
It isn't easy. Bad habits (drugs in her case) died hard, and trying to right problems like her credit is a long and difficult process. Bouncing back from a bad marriage, especially when a child is involved is painful -- especially when the father lends little or no support.
Do we punish those people for the rest of their lives for mistakes made when they were young and stupid?
I should say that our daughter has never taken a cent of entitlement money (we've had to help her -- a lot) but, seeing the situation, I would not have disapproved if she had.
She has been "sober" now for six or seven years, but is still struggling financially -- even though she has always had a job and works hard in her profession, although that was not always the case.
So, again, do we throw these people and their children away because of mistakes in the past?
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I agree that many people (myself included) made bad choices in their youths. HOWEVER, I had to grow up, correct my mistakes (in my case, post-college credit card debt) and work double-time to make things right. My parents refused, and rightfully so, to help me out of the mess I made of my finances. I did not ask for, nor did I receive assistance in paying off my debt. I worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs, lived frugally and managed to pay it off in 3 years.
It wasn't easy and sometimes I was angry with my parents for not helping me, or jealous of my friends who didn't have to spend 1/2 their salaries fixing stupid mistakes.
But I learned a lesson.....THEY WERE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR FIXING MY LIFE. That's my job. Period.
No, you shouldn't pay for youthful mistakes your whole life. You should make it right and get in gear. I am sorry for your daughter's woes, but only she can put her life back together and move on. I thank my parents for teaching me that lesson the hard way.
