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Originally Posted by KSig RC
What is so positive about "just working things out?"
What if things CAN'T be "worked out"?
The irony here is that it's a very American viewpoint that therapy can solve all issues - that's not at all true. All the counseling in the world can't save a bad marriage - and people change over time. The desire to be married by a certain (usually young) age carries the risk of change, the risk of divorce - and bending over backwards to make it work, while certainly a romantic ideal, seems counterproductive, tedious, and borderline insane to me.
You can't foresee all the problems in a marriage, and you can't just up and decide to "make" something work. To think otherwise is at best arrogant.
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Therapy won't necessarily keep couples together, but it's only partially designed to. Therapy can help people make the decision whether to work things out or break it off, and if they do divorce it can make it a much more amiable experience which is better for all parties, particularly the kids.