I'm not pretending to know what's involved in being a full, beneficial member of an NPHC, but I do want to sympathize with the OP about finding some situations more stressful than others, and if I had, which as far as I know I do not, a social or mental disorder (although some of you may disagree
), I too know that I could handle informal situations fine, but that a formal situation with all eyes on me is different than other situations.
I could flyer, recruit, promote, table, work in groups all day long, but being on stage by myself fills my heart with dread.