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thanks most of y'all were helpful. i know making progress with my anxiety definitely doesn't guarantee a bid, i didn't mean to imply that by any means. i feel like if i did get a bid and was apart of something so much bigger than myself would help take my focus off of my anxiety more than anything can (its much lesser when i feel that other people are absolutely depending on me for something) and encourage some sort of...healing process? (cliche cliche, i know). even if i don't ever get a bid, just going out and seeing what its all about would help me immensely because something like that is so out of my comfort zone, but i don't want it to be.
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