Ok, you had me until now.
First off, can you please refrain from the word "frat." We are fraternity. "Frat" has animal house implecations, which is not what Beta is about. We are about having a good time, but you said it your self
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Originally Posted by rastaone
and i too love to drink and party. its pretty much what im known for in the frat. however, i am also very dedicated to brotherhood and moving forward. i am trying to prove to everyone that you can drink and still participate in philanthropies, organize events, and be responsible all at the time same time.
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You are a man after my own heart in this respect. I used to be told the EXACT same thing in the eye (too honest and too much drinking). However, we are not a "frat," because we have a fraternal purpose and a 3,7 value system. We dont just through toga parties and pass out on the Chapter House porch.
If someone is against drinking, you should support them in that. Yeah, its annoying, but your views are probably just as annoying to them. It is what they value, and that is what you value. This doesn't mean you have to bow down to him, just respect him for it. He is telling you his values and being open and honest with how it bugs you. You should be the same. I don't know your age, but I am going to assume its under 21, which means they probably value the law, and if you get caught you not only have your ass on the line, but the name of Beta. Also, alcohol screw with the way you act and think, and people have issues with abusing your senses like that. So, I can see where they are coming from and if those are imortant to them, well man, it is just the way its got to be
Where is gets an issue, is where they try to actually stop you, threaten to kick you out or send you to kai just for consuming alcohol. Then you got to fight it. If you fight before this happens, well they are just going to get upset with you and you don't have a justified reason for it. They are entitled their anti-alcohol opinion as much as you are entitled your pro-alcohol opinion.
On the issue of you complaining about your brothers having no "lady skills," well, I am revealing some of the ritual here: I don't think that being a mac daddy is a requirement to join beta! Do people still say mac daddy? However, being rude def. falls under "unbeta-like" behavior. Call him out in chapter. Let him know that he is rude. Remind him when he is in private, so he sees it and starts to realize what he is doing. Most likely he doesnt.
Secondly, and you might gasp at this one, but some of the guys might not have social skills because, well, they are gay. Keep an open mind here, but as a founding father myself, and a frequent visit of leadership institutes and convention, I speak with many F.F. all the time, and it seems that having multiple gay members is more relevant in the F.F. process due to the type of selection, and how different style of recruitment. It is easier to go to non-undergrads sitting at a table in the student hall, then going to a chapter house of peers during rush. Since they don't know you that long, I mean, you've only been in Beta since fall, they may not feel comfortable around it. Especially, around those who reflect a more "frat" type image, like you and I, who like to drink and party.
I am not saying all those guys are gay, or even most. What I am saying is you need to be careful when you try to "pimpify" them with the ladies, because you might push a sensitive button for a couple of them. I sound totally lame here, but I'm serious.
The best thing you can do is just hang out with these guys. If you hang out with them one on one, and then a couple of people, and then a party, they will graduately get used to you, and the people around you, and ultimately your lady friends. That is how it worked for me. I was a sore thumb in that chapter, and today my eyes consist of "Dude, I am sorry I misjudged you in the begining, your cool and fun to hang out with, and now that I know you I appreciate your honesty."
Did I make any sense in my essay here? I dont know, let me know!