Leave it to a #3 (Three_Love) to refute so eloquently!
Points taken. But I stand firm to my opinions. Let me shed more personal insight:
FINANCIAL vs. NON-FINANCIAL
My point merely is that it is NOT sisterly to make judgements about a person's committment to Delta based on whether or not she's financial. Yes, we came up with the dues to pledge, but no one has a CLUE how a prospective got that money--perhaps it was a gift. Once we leave undergrad, situations can change--sometimes DRASTICALLY. Unlike many of my sorors, I had to put myself through college and use work-study money to provide all my personal and academic needs AND to send change home to my DESTITUTE family in Mississippi. So, when I graduated, I didn't have the resources necessary to do everything I NEEDED to do, much less what I wanted to do. My first 2 months out of college, I went from floor to floor and sofa to sofa until I could scrape up enough money for a 1-room EFFICIENCY of my own (I still live there, by the way)! Also, I didn't have a car then and I still don't. Believe me-- paying dues for DST was/is the LAST thing on my mind because my list of priorities has greatly shifted over the last 3 years. Sometimes I can barely afford to put change into the collection plate at church! On top of that, I had to take care of an HIV+ brother who had ZERO medical insurance (and whom I couldn't claim on mine). At the time, I made just a few cents over 20K a year (before taxes/deductions). So you tell me--was I still OBLIGATED to make DST a priority?
And, without even bothering to ask what my financial situation was/is, I was/am judged as non-committed (never mind the fact that I hate not being able to live up to my obligation to the sorority) . Those floors and sofas I slept on--NONE of them were those of a Soror! None of the sorors who knew me offered a helping hand--only criticism. This brings me to my next point...
ATTENDING MEETINGS
Firstly, since I don't have a car, I have transportation issues. Some folks say, "just call me and I'll pick you up," but you wouldn't believe how many didn't mean it. Also, having already endured a s**tload of criticism and dirty looks about not being financial and having sorors (who don't know me from Adam) treat me unkindly because of what they HEARD about my alleged non-commitment to DST, I found alumnae chapter meetings to be rather unwelcoming and uncomfortable... FOR ME. I really do feel you about going to the meetings for what I'm there for as a Delta, BUT-- it's not easy to do that when you're constantly reminded (rather openly and rudely)
that "you can't vote on an issue because you aren't financial" or that "you can't do this/participate in that because you're not financial." When going to chapter meetings becomes a dread, then it's time to step back. So, I looked at myself as an individual and asked "How can I still uphold the virtues and play a role without having to deal with the drama, discrimination, and outcasting?" I concluded that my TRUE obligation to Delta Sigma Theta involved SCHOLARSHIP, LEADERSHIP, and SERVICE-- not money. Yes-- the Sisterhood has many bills to pay and needs money to successfully carry out business and projects. If I could give the org a million bucks, I would! But, I also have obligations--financial needs that I NEVER thought (when I pledged in '97) that I'd have to be responsible for. I always saw myself as Miss Dedicated when it came to Delta, but let's face it-- S**t Happens, and I just haven't been capable of doing everything I want to do. So, I've chosen to commit myself to my church and to public service via individual effort-- you know, like when we were trying to make line? Too often, we use DST as the channel through which we do public service, forgetting that when we were pursuing membership, we did service on our own. I feel good about who I am because--5 years later-- I can honestly say that I am STILL doing my individual public service. How many ACTIVE sorors do you know who can HONESTLY say the same? It's easy to throw on a Delta t-shirt and join the gang one Saturday at a Habitat house, but it takes a TRULY DEDICATED SOROR to go out there by herself, in her own name, not in Delta's. THAT'S the kind of Soror I am! I used to enjoy moderating this forum because I'm an EXCELLENT writer and because I know that I am very approachable--not the kind of Soror who is "above" the prospectives who have questions/concerns. However, some folks feel I shouldn't have this role because I'm inactive--never mind the fact that I'm friendly, very easy to talk to, and considerate of the anxieties of interested ladies. My philosophy is this: With all the stress and obstacles that I HAVE to confront in my life on a daily basis, it would be rather foolish of me to willingly endure MORE of it when/if I don't necessarily have to. I refuse to go somewhere where I'm mistreated-- I just don't need any more on my plate. Active sorors shouldn't ostracize but INCLUDE. Be welcoming, not discouraging, and maybe non-financial members wouldn't be so apprehensive about attending meetings/events.
HOLDING HIGH OFFICES
My point here is simply this: If your primary goal is to have a fancy title within the organization, then Delta is simply not the place for you. We've had (and still have) some PHENOMENAL leaders within the 'Hood, but ultimately, a leader has to be a team player, too-- one who remembers that we're all sisters. I know people who've wanted to be chapter president just because it looks great on a resume and not because they were competent or because they welcomed the challenges of that leadership position. Some people are so self-oriented, that they only want to be in certain positions because they want to do things their way, thus losing site of the goals of the Sorority and turning a deaf ear to the voices of her members. Some sorors acquire certain positions solely as a means of making themselves marketable for other endeavors, like running for political office. This is fine and dandy, if and only if those individuals are committed to doing the position WELL as it relates to the needs of the Sorority. BUT let's be honest, sometimes it's simply not about Delta and, as a result, jobs are half-done, if done at all. Delta Sigma Theta does not need title-holders-- she needs LEADERS and LABORERS.
STROLLING TO CERTAIN SONGS
I didn't say that it's OKAY to step/strut to inappropriate music. I am saying that it's a waste of time to dwell on such issues to the point of ignoring the business at hand. There are many chapters and individual members who totally ignore protocol; once you lay the ground rules, I feel you've done your part. We can't make people change, as much as we'd like to. I have seen this topic (and the debate thereof) monopolize an entire meeting, taking precedence over more pressing items on the agenda. All I'm saying is that we need to stay focused. It IS sad that some Sorors feel comfortable stepping to "Doo Doo Brown"
but it's even sadder when sorors fight and bicker about it to the point of making public spectacles of themselves and/or not getting any important business done.
IN CONCLUSION
I do not plan to stay here very long, so I know I'll soon join an alumnae chapter when I get situated. Once the Lord aids me in fixing my financial situation, I guarantee I will do all that is expected and required of me and then some. But, the main point I'm trying to make is that some sorors lack compassion and understanding. We extend helping hands to poverty stricken families, the illiterate, and the sick, but we don't do the same for our own sorors who may be in need. Instead, we poke fun, draw negative conclusions, and/or ostracize. Yes, there WILL be conflicts and disagreements within any organization of this magnitude, especially one boasting such strong-willed women as are Delta Women. But, we can't use that as a crutch or an excuse for pettiness and disrespect towards one another.
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, INNNNNCORPORATED has made some absolutely OUTSTANDING accomplishments (too numerous to count) over the last 89 years. I still, and always will think her to be THE BEST Sorority on the face of the planet!
However, there is always room for growth and improvement. We need to be willing to acknowledge both the strengths and the weaknesses within the organization AND within ourselves. I know that I am far from perfect and that each and every day is a learning/tweaking/polishing experience for me as I journey toward perfection. For me, I will not be perfect until the day that I die, for only then can I NOT get any better; only then am I all that I can be. As Deltas, we need to work toward doing/being our best each and every day. Every day, we should put effort toward living up to our virtues. And, we need to do this both in the way we act and in the way we treat each other-- active or inactive. We're ALL Deltas. Let's not show more compassion and benevolence toward the needy (via public service) than we do toward our own sisters. If we treated each other like the FAMILY that we are, I have no doubt that the pettiness, egotism, and regression would disappear.
And I'm Out!!!