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Originally Posted by als463
Thank you so much guys for the words of wisdom....He is totally dedicated and I know this because he is gonna' bust his butt to go to Medical School (he's very intelligent) so he would help with the chapter G.P.A. He has also helped out with my sorority's philanthropy events. At my school-we have the largest student run philanthrophy in the world and he has helped with that. He wants to make time for a fraternity because he knows that I would gladly help out w/ the fraternity with anything they would need because I love my greek experience and know he would too. I would never get upset if he had things he had to do with the chapter because as a greek from a national sorority-I would understand. I know it sounds horrible but, I'm really all about him joining a fraternity because I think so much higher of men who have shown commitment to an organization and a great group of other men. It shows they have drive and are willing to do philanthropy. My guy agrees and knows how strong I feel about this. My uncle was a Sig Chi at PSU and I have the uttmost respect for him because of that...I think the same about women in sororities....even if you aren't in mine...I have respect for you because it shows someone who is willing to stick to something....So-he and I aren't looking at "who's who on campus" the way we care about where he fits in and the guys treat him great!!! He has been to Iraq twice and he's good at what he does...now it's time for him to show he can be a soldier but, also a good college student and fraternity man...any suggestions would be nice guys-thanx for your help!!!!  |
I realize IFC is way different than NPC recruitment, and I know that while we generally look for the same things in members (good grades, involvement, etc), I don't think it would be too far off to say that in this case, it might also depend on the campus climate.
Being 25 right now, I feel like I've grown out of a lot of the things that I would have done as a 20-yr old new member. I can't really imagine just going into greek life at this point in my life... but I think a part of that is also because I've already got the whole career thing going on and I'm done w/ school.
I just think that there might be some things that he might not relate to with the 18-22 yr old pledge class that he might possibly end up with.
While I think Greek Life is great, I don't think you should think less of him if he doesn't join a fraternity. (You said "I think so much higher of men who have shown commitment to an organization and a great group of other men. It shows they have drive and are willing to do philanthropy.")
He's been to Iraq twice already.. that's more than enough to get a ton of respect from me! One of my dearest friends is on his third tour over there. I think by being in the military for as long as he has, that should already show some kind of commitment to a group of individuals and "drive".
There are also so many other ways to show a "drive" and are "willing to do philanthropy" outside of greek life. Just because someone is not in a fraternity does not mean they don't do philanthropic work. (Your bf is a perfect example, he's helped out your sorority and he's not even greek!)
Anyway, didn't want this to be such a downer, but I think for someone who is older than the other guys, and married, he might be in a different stage in his life (not even just age-wise but maturity wise) and might not be able to relate to the 18-yr olds. Just a thought... I wish you & your bf the best