[Ohsass]

This very thing came up last night. I was lavaliered in the early 80's and did marry my DTD :-) We have been happily married for 21 years. The subject came up because as the spouse of a chapter advisor, I told a lavaliered gf that she was not allowed to wear his letters. She was wearing his sweatshirt. She bristled quite loudly that she was lavaliered and that meant it was ok to wear his letters at any time and basically what nerve I had. To clarify if things have just changed that dramatically over the years, I also spoke to a family member who was womens panhel pres recently at her university. She said although it was not a concrete rule it was understood that it was a huge social faux pas to wear,(especially in public) letters that were not your own. Jewelry did not apply. Further, the brothers and sisters would have had a fit to see their letters so casually worn.

In my opinion, the charm on a necklace stood, and should still stand, as a sign of a committed relationship and a sign that the girl is spoken for so to speak. But this girl did not, nor have I to this day, earned the right to wear the letters of DTD. As a little sister, we had our own sweatshirts but "L'il Sis" was embroidered clearly down one sleeve. We also worked our tails off with the guys in philanthropy etc..

Whether you are pinned or lavaliered, you do not come before the fraternity, you are not a member of the fraternity, you do not have the right to learn the rituals, shake or secrets of that fraternity. In my opinion, unless guys or sorority girls as well, stress ownership and pride in the honor that being a Delt or whatever should stand for..they hurt their house and recruitment. What makes your house or group special and exclusive if anyone can wear your letters? Why bother rushing?