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I would agree that any lettered item should be returned. I do not mean this to sound harsh in any way, but if you are no longer going to be a member then you don't really have any use for the items. (It would be inappropriate to wear or display the letters.)
This especially holds true if any of the items were gifts from the chapter, your big, or other chapter members. (Given that you're having some financial difficulties yourself, certainly you can understand why your big might feel slighted after spending her own money on items with the assumption that you would initiate. The courteous thing to do would be to return any gifts to her - especially if any of them were items that had been handed down through your family tree in the chapter.)
Any non-lettered items would certainly be appropriate to keep as memories of your time in the chapter.
Also, I'm sure that you gave serious thought to your decision not to initiate, but I have one thing to mention in case its something that you haven't looked into. You mentioned that you had a family disagreement about the use of your money. My interpretation of this is that its not so much that you don't have funds available to you as it is that they don't approve of the way that you're budgeting those funds. Keep in mind that some GLOs do allow a new member to carry over and initiate in the next cycle. I do not know, of course, if this is a possibility in your organization. However, if you think there is a possibility that the disagreement with your family could be smoothed over by showing them that you can effectively budget your money over the next semester and you truly still do want to be a part of the chapter (if finances can be worked out), I would inquire with your chapter whether its possible to carry over.
(Again, I only recommend this course of action if you truly wish to be a member of the chapter and believe that you can make changes to your budgeting/spending that will help resolve the disagreement with your family. If you don't honestly believe that circumstances could be resolved with another semester, don't go this route - it won't do any good to string yourself or the chapter along. I only mentioned it because I wanted to make sure it was an option you had at least considered before leaving the chapter entirely.)
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