Ok, for all you who were following my previous rants, I need advice (but not about the assclown and his stuck-in-the-80's girlfriend).
About my two friends, we'll call one X and one Y because you never know who ends up reading these things. This is kind of the more detailed version of the "you're my bestest friend, don't make fun of me for making out in the hallway" story, for those who remember. So I went out with both of them and another one of my sisters this past weekend and it was hell. For the record, X is the one I'm pretty close to, and Y is the annoying one who is trying to get on some guy with a girlfriend and always goes on and on about how X is her "bestest friend ever" (whether X actually feels this way, I don't know, that'd be for her to say). We were planning on all going to a club after I got back from work, but when I got back to the house, the other sister who went with us told me that Y told her that she was too tired to go. I had to go home regardless, but I told the girl at the house I'd call her if anything ends up happening.
So I get home and my 16 year old sister is having a party and I thought I was going to die, so I call X on her cell phone out of sheer desperation to get out of my house. She's out at a restaurant with her older sister, her husband, and their friends, but told me if I wanted I could meet them there. So I drive out there even though it's 30 minutes away and when I get there I call the girl at the house to tell her we're just getting dinner. She wanted to still go out though, so I told her if she wanted to call Y, maybe we could meet them somewhere in the middle later. So Y calls my cell phone all pissy and asks to speak to X (who has her own cell phone, but whatever). She's all annoyed that we went out without her (even though she also called X during the day and told her that the reason she didn't want to go out is because the girl at the house didn't want to go, not that she was tired) so she was talking and talking and talking to X. We ended up having to drive to the house (an hour away) to pick up the girl there, drive out to Y's apartment (a half hour away from the house) so we could go to this club downtown. Later that night I'd have to drive from the apartment to the house (there's a half hour), then to X's house to drop her off (45 more minutes), then 20 to my house. Keep in mind I also have an 84 Chevy Celebrity that chugs gas, and I've been sick with the flu or a cold or something for a week. Plus I haven't been sleeping well because I've been stressed about other stuff. But to make a long story a little shorter, I ask X why we're doing this and she says "so Y doesn't get pissed off."
So we get to Y's apartment eventually (after she calls because we're not there fast enough...hello, we did all this crap for her) and then we go out. I knew I had to drive later so I had a few drinks at her apartment but that was it. We get to the club and Y and the girl from the house proceed to get drunk. The 4 of us are in this super-crowded room where it was so smoky and I had like 20 asses rubbing on me from all directions. Normally I wouldn't care, but like I said, I've been sick all week, so the smoke's making me cough. To make matters worse, Y keeps standing in front of me talking to the two other girls all night. Now the girl from the house knows about my issues with them, so she drags Y's drunk ass away for a while and X stays with me, but she could tell I wasn't having fun. And she didn't want to just leave me, but she seemed kind of annoyed that I was in a foul mood, which I can't really blame her for, but at that point she could've gone off with them and I wouldn't have cared. The two drinks hit me pretty hard and it just made me super-depressed. Anyway, eventually we leave, it sucked the whole time, and during the ride home I said maybe 4 words to X because I was trying to keep from crying. I was just so frustrated with stuff in general, so that didn't help. And now Y wants to do this again next weekend, except she wants everyone and their mother to come over to her apartment, ger super-drunk, and then find some way to get downtown. Considering how I haven't been a happy drunk for months, you can see how much I'm jumping for joy at this idea, but apparently X is all about going and getting wasted this time. Nothing says fun like being the only sober one in the room.
Now for all that babbling, here's my point. Everytime I go out with them, I feel like the thrid wheel, and it's only because of Y. X and I have a tendency to talk to each other a lot since we have a similar sense of humor, and it used to bother Y so I tried to tone it down for her sake, but since then she's just made a point to talk about things that I'm completely excluded from, like the apartment they're going to get, how she wants X in her wedding (hello, she's not even dating anyone), how she's her "bestest friend ever," etc. And it happens all the time. Plus she gets super-mad if X and I do anything without her, even though they've both gone out without me a bunch of times. At one point she threw a fit because X and I carpool sometimes. We live pretty close to each other, why should we both drive? I always end up feeling dragged into a competition for X's friendship and I hate it.
I've kept my mouth shut to this point because I figured I'd be close to X no matter what Y did, but it's starting to affect our friendship, mostly because it's gotten to the point where I can't see X unless Y comes too since she seriously calls X every freakin day on weekends to schedule something to do. I think X figures I won't care about coming along since we usually don't have concrete plans anyway, and she always makes a point of inviting me which I appreciate, but I'm so sick of Y that I don't want anything to do with either of them at this point.
It just upsets me that X and I used to be so close, and now it's like I can't even talk to her when we're out anywhere because I'm so frustrated and upset with the situation to the point where I'm fuming, and maybe I'm the only one with this problem, but when I'm pissed that's all I want to talk about. At the same time I'd feel bad for putting X in the middle of this (even though apparently Y bitches about me to her all the time). I really want to say something to the effect of "I'm not going out with you two anymore, if you want to see me it has to be just you." but I don't want to be a big bitch and make her choose between us even though I'm really making the choice for her. I don't want to hang out with Y, so if she wants to go out with her, that's cool. I just don't want any part of it. But part of me knows if I say that I'll probably never see X because Y throws a fit if she doesn't get to hang out with her when she calls (which is seriously every day over a weekend), and then she bitches even more if we go somewhere without her, even if it's just to Wal-mart.
I can't help wondering how it's going to be when they move into an apartment together - Y gets mad if X and I talk about anything and she can't completely hear because she assumes we're talking about her. How can I call their phone - what's she gonna do, listen in on the conversation? And how will I ever be able to plan on doing anything with X if she lives with Y? Y will invite herself along all the time, and X isn't the type to stop her since, in the end, she's the one who'll have to live with her every day and doesn't want to cause huge problems. And it's super-frustrating because I can't tell if X doesn't notice how upset this all makes me or just doesn't want to get in the middle. Considering other people have noticed how Y has been super-possessive, I can't believe X hasn't seen it too, but it kind of hurts that I'm going through all this and it seems like she doesn't really care, even though it's probably because she's friends with both of us and is the type to stay out of other peoples' arguments.
I'm so frustrated with all of this and I really want to say something, but I don't want to lose X as a friend, and it's to the point where everyone who knows all of us has just been telling me to ignore them and get new friends. I honestly wouldn't care if I never talked to Y again at this point, but if I say anything to her, she'll twist it around like she always does and make me sound like this massive bitch. Any advice on how I can deal with this? Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading it.
Liz