Quote:
Originally Posted by tld221
BREAKING NEWS... THE WEDDING IS CANCELED AS OF THIS AFTERNOON.
i dont have ALL the details, but the morning started with my aunt looking through her "fiance's" phone and finding the following messages:
Auntie's boo: yo she's picking out rings already
Boo's son: damn she's on a roll wit you
so of course she's offended. calls my mom up this morning, asking if she should confront him about it, to see "if he has any hesitations about getting married."  he pretty much says that he's OK with it, but that he feels like its rushed, etc... (mind you this wedding was supposed to be in July) says they should push the wedding back to 2008 to save $ and give more time to build the relationship (theyve been together less than a year and again, he's still legally married to the wife).
(ok let me mention that last week, she had proposed a couple of deals. 1. she would loan him the money for her engagement ring and he would pay it back after the wedding, and 2. they would both take out loans to pay for the wedding. 3. she wanted a honeymoon overseas, and he doesnt like to fly, so he was like if we cant drive to it and be back for work monday morning, it aint happening.) |
The guy gave a legitimate reason to delay the marriage, PLUS, no matter what you do...you can't LEGALLY MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS STILL MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE.....so what would be the point of going through with it in the first place?!!
Plus: IMHO
"1. she would loan him the money for her engagement ring and he would pay it back after the wedding,"-BAD IDEA....If the man can't get the ring himself, we ain't getting engaged or married PERIOD!! To me the purchase of the ring is an indication that HE MADE AN INDEPENDENT DECISION TO MARRY YOU WITHOUT COERCION! (Plus this has been the root of countless cases on Judge Mathis!!)
"2. they would both take out loans to pay for the wedding." Why would you start off a marriage in conflict by taking on alot of debt? That has been the undoing of many marriages. One spouse is usually resentful about the amount of debt the wedding created. (IN THIS CASE, PROBABLY HUBBY-TO-BE)
"3. she wanted a honeymoon overseas, and he doesnt like to fly, so he was like if we cant drive to it and be back for work monday morning, it aint happening.").
To me this is indicative of a deeper problem. He's basically telling he is not open to trying new things to please her. He has told her not to expect to do something she seems to like (traveling overseas) if she marries him. She can't complain later if her honeymoon consists of a weekend at the local Hollday Inn and that "we never go anywhere". HE TOLD YOU UP FRONT. Personally, if he is willing to treat the honeymoon as a weekend afterthought, how will he treat you in the marriage?
Mind you I have never been married and in my early 40's, but I'm not willing to overlook somethings for the sake of being married just because I'm "older". If its meant to be, then it will happen. LADIES, WE HAVE GOT TO QUIT SETTLING, BEING IMPATIENT, AND SELLING OURSELVES SHORT FOR THE SAKE OF BEING MARRIED!