...apply to U of A. You sound like you really like it, and it's four years of YOUR life, YOUR education, and although your parents may be paying, they're not doing the work, living the life, etc. Things will work out for the best.
U of A sounds like a great school for you! I came from an "academically competitive" high school too
, so I understand the pressure to get into a "good school"--especially during Early Decision/Action time. Actually, for my class, it wasn't about going to the "best" school, it was about who could go the farthest to school. So, I understand why you don't want to go to a school where it's like a pressure cooker. I also understand the whole "school spirit thing". I was Spirit Coordinator my Senior Year, so having a school that rallied around its football team (I'm from Florida) was a HUGE deal for me. Luckily, I found what I consider the "best of both worlds"--a good school that's not overly competitive where the student body is spirited. I think you've found your match with U of A!
Have you ever mentioned to your parents that in most cases, where you went to school has very little bearing when you apply for your first job? No one "in the know" thinks U of A is a school for slouches, and it's possible you could get a "better" job out of U of A...there are tens of thousands of alumnae! (How small is your "safety"?)
Best of luck...and I'm upset for you...hang in there!