[PeppyGPhiB]

I actually find destination weddings to be selfish, unless it's just immediate family invited. Most of the people I've known who've had them seemed to think it would just be fun to, say, get married on a beach in Hawaii, yet expected all their friends and family members to use their vacation time to fly there for the wedding. They didn't think at all about their guests and how sad they would be that they wouldn't be able to share in the special occasion. But mostly what I don't like about them is that they're a passive-agressive way of UN-inviting people to your wedding. You would like to have all those people at your wedding, but you don't want to pay for it, so you invite them all to your wedding in Hawaii knowing that most of them won't be able to make it. All so you can say that Yes, you invited Brother's Friend Sally, but she didn't couldn't make it.

My advice for people considering a destination wedding:

1. Invite a small number of people so you don't have a bunch of friends feeling obligated to go or sad that they can't go.
2. If you're doing it just because your guest list for a home town wedding would be too big, just CUT YOUR GUEST LIST. Get some balls. No, you really don't have to invite ALL of your cousins, even if you're Irish or Italian Catholic. Chances are a lot of those family members wouldn't be able to make it overseas for a wedding anyway, so what's the point of leaving town? Take a look at the guest list and set some guidelines for deciding whom from each side you will invite. My opinion: if you won't recognize/know them in the receiving line, they don't have to be there. Just have a small wedding! You can do it! Really!
3. Elope.