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I will never forget this as long as I live. Ever.
Freshman year, we were required to take 2 HPR (gym) classes. By the spring I was ready for my second one, so I chose Golf and Bowling, HPR282. Oh you can imagine my joy when I realized that this grand university was going to require me to take a course about golf, which I love dearly. I actually had a choice of like Judo, and a bunch of other crap. But God, golf and bowling sounded like a great way to end my Monday-Wednesdays.
THree other KA's sign up for this class with me.
Uh-oh.
Well the four of us cruise through the semester, the class is going great, and everything the four of us did in this class was comparable to a monkey fucking a football. We had some good times. The end of the semester comes, and Coach (a female girls basketball assistant coach) decides that for our final we are going to the country club for a golf tourney with the class. Well the four of us tee off last, and let the rest of the class get well ahead of us because we had snuck some bourbon into the mix. We dont play golf if we aint drinkin. Well, we get to about the fifth hole, and Redneck (his real name was Ken) was teeing off first, he had the honors after a birdie on the previous hole. So he addresses the ball, swings, and caught it fat. Ball went 40 yards straight in the air, landed about 10 feet in front of him. We were rolling. Now kids, here in the South, if you dont make it past the ladies tee on your drive you have to play the rest of the hole with your pants around your ankles. LOL. That was the rule, course we never abbided by this, considering we had been thrown off courses for much, much less. Well redneck throws his club, unbuckles his khakis, and drops his drawers. Hell by this time im laughing so damn hard i had bourbon flying out of my nose. Well anyway, hes laughing too, pulls up his pants, and over the hill comes coach, barreling at us in a golf cart a la smokey and the bandit when they jumped the fence and landed at the baseball game. Uh oh boys......
The conversation between me and Coach:
Coach: MCGINNIS!!!!!
Me: Ma'am?
Coach: Get over here!
Me: Yes ma'am
Coach: Mr. McGinnis, would you care to explain to me why in Gods green earth I just saw Mr. Marshall with his pants around his ankles?
Me: I didnt see it ma'am
Coach: Dont lie to me son.
Me: Yes ma'am
Coach: Have you been drinking?
Me: No ma'am
Coach: Well you must be hopped up on something if you let Mr. Marshall drop his pants in front of God and everybody.
Me: Yes ma'am
Coach: Mr. Marshall, if I see any of the 4 of you expose yourselfs again on this golf course, so help me God I will call the police and have all 4 of you kicked out of school!
Us: Yes ma'am
If I'm lyin, then I'm dyin. Funniest thing I EVER had happen to me in a college class. We won the class tourney by 2 strokes but Coach gave all 4 of us in the class a B. Whatever, I was just glad that she didnt flunk all of us. Thats college, remind me to tell you about my highschool drafting teacher picking up a trash can, throwing it at me, then tackling a printing press.
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