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Hi Coramoor,
I do not think drinking or drinking games are the issue. Forgive me posting over and over on this thread, but I hope it is worth being very precise about positions on a matter like this because it is being considered in the grander scheme of Beta's direction.
1. First off, let me please offer a real-life example with a hypothetical event that reflects how I see the drinking game/keg incident that one of the suspended brothers admits happened.
I started experimenting with drinking in high school, as most kids do. It was not legal for me to do so, but it was the reality of how life works.
My parents had their fun growing up and they knew I would do the same.
So they had a simple rule. I was not to drink and drive. If I did, the car was gone and I would have a curfew. I could call home at any time of night and get a safe ride home with no questions asked and no punishment. I had no curfew either. I only got fussed at once when I road-tripped to Austin one night with some friends on the spur of the moment and did not come home until noon the next day. The new rule was that if I was going to stay out overnight I needed to let them know in advance- or call early in the AM to say I was okay.
I was the most fortunate kid you could imagine. I had more freedom than almost anyone else I knew. But that ONE rule was there, and it was absolute for reasons even I at that age could understand.
Some of my friends got DWIs in high school and college. One friend of mine actually killed someone when he drove drunk. Most people I knew drove drunk a time or two. But I never did, and I never got in trouble.
My parents' approach worked because they treated me as an adult to the greatest extent possible without creating a risk for society at large or allowing me to put myself in a situation where my limited age and experience could not give me a reasonable chance to make the right decision.
GF's Risk Management Policy strikes this critical balance and gives young men a chance to prove themselves responsible and able to make these kinds of decisions without interfering with their ability to function and grow as young adults.
Chapters do not exist without alumni support- often reaching into the millions- to buy and manage homes, nor without GF support and guidance. This world of Greek Life does not exist without them. So like it or not, there are going to be rules. And most of the time, they will be put in place by men who remember the value of their fraternity experience and seek to protect these young men from harm while allowing them the vital step of maturation and self-governance that a fraternity can provide- an experience no other collegiate aspect of life can provide.
Let's go back to me in high school.
What do you think would have happened to my freedom if my parents had woken up on a Sunday morning, walked down the hall and seen 3 empty beer cans on the floor in front of my bedroom?
In strictly legal terms, all that proves is that someone drank 3 cans of beer- maybe me- and left the cans in the hall.
But in practical terms, what do you think that would have suggested to my parents to see such an openly indiscrete act?
The answer to that question is why this incident (that an Alpha member has disclosed as fact) is so very troubling.
Perception is reality, and in a world where parents or a General Fraternity place great trust in those who live under their financial and spiritual protection- so unthinking an act must naturally provoke a strong response.
2. Second, there are many other incidents besides this one that contributed to the current situation. The blog makes reference to at least two others.
3. Third, and also important, the blog- if you read very closely- infers in several places that this member review was requested from within. In other words, this looks to have started within the chapter.
I remember my life as an active Beta well. We stuck together. Even if we liked our advisors and GF representatives, we looked out for each other first. It is what makes a strong brotherhood, and it is the same kind of human reaction you will find in the business world with groups of people who work well together and are loyal to each other.
My chapter that I advise today is the same. And I would not have it any other way.
I can think of few things that would concern me more than if a group of actives from my chapter came to me seeking help in dealing with another group of actives within the chapter. It would be a pretty bad situation for that to have to happen.
In the big picture, I just hope this is not seeded in the minds of actives and alumni as a situation that reflects some large battle over Beta's future. It is being presented that way, hence my voluminous commentary, but I do not see this as a good example to reference. It is out there for discussion, courtesy of some indiscrete suspended members, but as more facts become known it is increasingly clear that this is not a battleground situation.
JMHO as always- with gratitude for the substantive discussion we have had here.
___ kai ___
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