The answers you seek will not be found on GreekChat. It's been my experience on GC that posting such questions are deemed inappropriate and are often looked at unfavorably.

You may want to visit the AKA forum and read the posts marked Important and go on from there. The official AKA website is a good resource as well. Discretion is key, and that's something you're going to hear a lot of, especially if you're serious about your pursuit.