Quote:
Originally Posted by kitten24
How is the best way to deal with this rejection? I really wish I knew why I didn't make it, and if it is worth it to try formal recruitment next fall. I am afraid of going through the pain again, but I really thought this was the right thing for me. Did anybody else rush, not make it, and rush again and be able to join? Most of the stories I have read here have happy endings. Mostly I am just feeling really, really sad.
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Many women have gone through two -- or even three -- recruitments before receiving bids. Some women go through three and never receive bids anywhere.
There are a few reasons why you may have not received a bid that are pretty general:
1. There really weren't that many spaces available (if 30 women show up for 3 spaces, lots of really great women will be cut).
2. FSUZeta had a really good point. It's possible that other women were better connected with the chapters than you, either because they had lots of friends in the chapter already or went through FR in the fall and were familiar faces. If this is the first time you've ever met a lot of women in your two top sororities, you would have a lot of ground to make up vs. PNMs who already had made connections with some of the sisters.
3. This is the harshest one, and I really hope this isn't the reason you didn't receive a bid! Sometimes, though, PNMs need to take a long hard look at the various sororities in recruitment and be really honest with themselves...the sorority they feel most "at home" with may
not feel the same way. When I went through FR, lots of women were crushed by not being asked back to certain chapters...but when all was said and done, it was pretty obvious that the PNMs would not have fit in with these sororities. It's a matter of being totally, gut-wrenchingly honest with yourself...if you go through COB with a sorority that's filled with lots and lots of women who may be nice/awesome/funny/kind but besides that they're
nothing like you, this could be the reason why you weren't extended a bid. Not because they didn't like you as a person or whatever, but because you just simply weren't right for their sorority.
Now to address the question of going through FR in the fall. I would absolutely recommend doing so
if you can handle the potential for another rejection. You mentioned that you didn't want to go through this pain again and
nobody can guarantee that you won't be cut by every chapter during FR. It's up to you to decide if you're emotionally able to handle that idea. That said, I personally think you should go through FR. You've only met four out of many chapters at your school, and you might meet women from another chapter where you'd feel even more "at home." You might decide that being in a sorority really isn't for you after all. You might get a bid from your favorite sorority from the informal recruitment period this year. By going through FR, you'll be able to gain an even better perspective on what kind of sorority experience is right for you.
Just to reiterate though, you first have to know that you'd be emotionally able to handle the (small, but still real) chance that you'll be cut by every house during FR. If that's too much of an emotional risk for you, then I wouldn't recommend formal recruitment.