[PhoenixAzul]

I HATE being called "Honey" or "baby" or "Darlin". It's patronizing and I refuse to respond to it. We past the time when that was acceptable a long time ago. Strangers aren't anything to me, and I resent being called something like that by someone I have no connection to. Baby itself is demeaning...it implies to me that you think I'm a child. I don't allow my boyfriend to address me as baby, honey or darling...he knows I was given a perfectly good name. Honey is one of those things I find fake. "Oh honey, could you be a doll and do this for me?". Um, no. I'm NOT a doll, and you can handle it yourself, thank you very much. If it is a hospitality situation, something like, "Miss, I'm sorry, but I can't seem to find (x), could you help me?". Perfectly fine, no problem...but don't throw in all the fake sugar to get what you want. Ask me directly, it's part of my job, but it is not part of my job to be called ridiculous names. "miss" is fine, or even read the nametag and address me by my name.

I don't like ceremony for ceremony's sake or doing things because "that's how its always been done" or "because people expect it", and I think a lot of the social traditions and stuff are out of date. Also, manners for manners sake in order to present yourself as "upper____" is silly. If dog crap is covered with gold, it's still crap. Present yourself as _______ through your actions (not ceremonial manners) and through your words (being articulate and well read).

I also don't think that any one region has a monopoly on manners. I think that there are a very few basic manners that need to be observed. Here's my big ones:

1) Smile and at least nod when making eye contact on the street.
2) GIVE A FIRM HANDSHAKE. What I hate is a weak handshake. Women are the worst about this...the limp noodle handshake in church just doesn't say "peace be with you" to me. Firm handshakes please.
3) Please, thank you, when appropriate and even sometimes when not.
4) Hold doors for everyone...women for women, men for men, men for women, women for men. Holding doors, or at least not letting it slam on the person behind you is just plain nice.

That's about it.