[adpiucf]

Thanks for the replies so far. The dresses are from David's-- so far none of the BM's have ordered theirs yet except the brides' sister and she got hers in a few weeks' time. I'm honestly hesitant to order the dress until I have a talk with the bride, which I will do before the week is out. From there I will better be able to determine if I can be in the wedding or if I will attend as a guest. My boyfriend can't go, due to to work obligations, so I'll be flying solo. Bummer.

I am definitely going to skip the shower.

What bothers me most is that I have repeatedly requested this information over the last nine months and explained my reasoning... the other BMs also feel like they are in the dark. While they are in-state, this whole 4-day weekend (rehearsal on a Friday night/wedding on a Sunday night so you can't really leave until Monday) is really proving to be a strain. Initially,when we were invited to be in the wedding, it was to be held on a Saturday. They've moved things around a few times and not been entirely forthcoming with the details, so as much as you want to be there...it's just harder.