Quote:
Originally Posted by adpiucf
I'm in a wedding in a couple of months and I'm getting a little frustrated. What other reason does a couple have a wedding (rather than elope), than to share the event with the family and friends? Which means making certain concessions for those loved ones so that they can actually attend? Right?
I have tentative dates for everything-- the bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, etc., and no concrete times or places! No information has been offered despite repeated requests, or regarding reserved hotel blocks, etc. All I know is the date of the wedding (but no idea as to where and what time it begins!) and where to buy my dress. The rehearsal is being planned for a Friday and the wedding is being held on a Sunday for financial reasons, but it is turning into a larger financial burden for me than I had assumed because I have to travel from another state and no one will tell me times and places!
I have strongly considered stepping down from my duties in the bridal party and attending as a guest, but I also know that all of "our crowd" will be standing up there beside the bride and I will probably regret it. As it stands, I think it would be wise for me to skip the shower. Due to the lack of communication and despite my repeated requests (and explaining my line of reasoning to the MOH to get those dates), no decisions have been made and air travel costs get more expensive every day.
Any recommendations on preserving my sanity?
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I wouldn't step down as BM UNLESS the bride is being flakey. If the MOH and other BMs have poor communication skills, it would be really unfortunate for the bride to lose out on you standing up for her. If the bride is being uncommunicative, that's a different story.
Given that showers are generally short parties that take place over one afternoon, I would definitely say it would be permissible -- if not expected -- that you'd skip stuff like that as an out of towner.
I'm with OleMiss on this one, if it gets to be totally crazy, have a heart to heart with the bride at a time when she's not stressed with wedding planning stuff. Explain to her that you'd love to be there for the big day but you literally can't get time off work for stuff without advance notice, so that you might have to skip showers, bridesmaid activities etc. I think any halfway reasonable bride would understand your predicament and not hold your absences against you, and would at the VERY least try to get some dates set in stone for you!
I think I'm most shocked about the dress situation -- I had to go in for fittings for BM dresses like five months in advance! Are you buying off the rack or not getting the dresses altered? Is like the bride's mom making the dresses or something?
This bride better get in gear if she hasn't already or else she's going to have some pretty mismatched BMs!