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scandia,
i think all of us unknowingly have criteria that we use to qualify folks as suitable to date. i think that it is when we knowingly list criteria for which our dates should qualify that we run into trouble. rarely would someone fulfill all the requirements. i'm sure that even prince william or george clooney would meet all of our requirements. maybe your question is how many of my preferences could i accept in a mate, or of the criteria i have for a mate, which are the most important?
for instance, i think that i remember you saying in another thread that you would like a mate who is of equal intelligence. what if you met a man who was very smart & well spoken, but who's i.q. might be lower than yours? would that be a reason to drop him, if he met most of the other criteria on your list? now did you really mean equal intelligence, or did you mean equivalent education?
one of my relatives married a man who has a technical degree from a trade school. she is college educated. her parents were not happy with the marriage because he was not college educated. however, he is a very well spoken, interesting, caring, informed and involved person. he treats my relative like a queen and is a wonderful father to their children. he is well respected in their community. they own their own business which is very successful and they have made a lot of money. her parents have come to adore him as they have gotten to know him. he is a good man. had she listened to her parents,simply because he did not meet their criteria, my relative would have missed out on a wonderfully successful marriage.
you also said that you would like your mate to be a practicing catholic-would you be willing to compromise on that? for instance, a compromise might be that he would be willing to convert to catholicism. would that be alright? what if he preferred to stay with his religion, but agreed that if you had children, they could be raised catholic? could you live with that?
i think you might be putting the cart before the horse. before you find a husband, you have to find a date. i dated lots of different men before i met my husband. i dated a few jerks, some really nice guys, and a few that i had serious relationships with. i think dating the guys that i did helped me to realize the gem that my husband was when i met him. but as the saying goes, i did have to kiss a few frogs before i met my prince. go out to meet interesting men, not to find a husband. it you feel a spark, hooray!! if you don't, hopefully you have made a friend, and maybe the spark will show up with the next date.
how did your parents meet? was it an arranged marriage?
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