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Scandia, you really need to realize that you can walk around with a preconceived list of everything you want in a mate, but it's pretty unlikely you'll end up with that person. I had a very long list of characteristics that a man in my life must have (Irish Catholic, liberal, not a lawyer, pro-choice, blah blah blah) and I met a guy my junior year of college who met every single one of those characteristics and was totally into me. I wanted nothing to do with him. Nice guy, but no chemistry. I've been with my boyfriend for two years - he does not meet a single one of my must haves and violates all of my must-nots - but I love him and we work together, and that's more important than going down an arbitrary checklist.
I'm kind of with valkryie - you negotiate whether you eat Chinese or Mexican for dinner, but you don't negotiate whether your partner wants children. You compromise on eating Indian instead or maybe even on something more serious like two kids instead of 16 (go Duggar family!), but you don't compromise on whether your mate is Catholic or not. And settling is for suckas. If you already feel like you are settling at the beginning of the relationship, how can you expect a marriage or partnership to make it?
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