Quote:
Originally posted by Ideal08
Ok, I have serious issues with this. Blacks need one big lesson on basic social graces as determined by WHOM? I have no desire to learn how to act, shuck, or jive for my White counterparts. Nor do I have the desire to carry checks or credit cards based on their PERCEPTIONS (based in racism) of Blacks carrying cash. THAT IS THEIR PROBLEM. So because white people will think that a Black man carrying cash is a drug dealer, he shouldn't carry cash? Gimme a break. Money is green, and it all spends. While I realize that this is a White man's world, I still have no desire to conform to how they THINK I should act at the dinner table and in the store. If I go into a store and get turned away based on the actions of the Black woman who went before me, that is not a store I want to spend my money in anyway. Who deems what is appropriate and what is not?
Threatened with expulsion from her SOCIAL CLUB???? Oh my goodness, keep your shirts on, Hilary might not be able to socialize anymore!!! Oh no, the TRAGEDY!!! Why would you want to hang around with people who will expel you from an organization because you laughed too loud in the dining area?? Yeah, those are exactly the people that I wish to rub elbows with. 
When are we going to stop trying to conform and fit into their world. IT WASN'T MEANT FOR US! PERIOD! So why take a CLASS on social graces to fit into a world that wasn't meant for you? NEWSFLASH: It doesn't make a difference how poised you are, how classy you are, how articulate you are, how intelligent you are, you will STILL be judged by the color of your skin. So have fun in your social graces classes, I, for one, would not be in attendance.
All this because a man paid for his purchase in cash? You say tomato, I say tomato. You don't like it, you don't have to do it. However, don't press your issues of how we are perceived by society on everyone and say that we all need to take classes in social graces. Gimme a break.
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I agree wholeheartedly with you, Ideal08 (as usual
). This is exactly what I think. I believe one (of any race) should always behave in some sort of an "appropriate" manner but it doesn't have to be to the standards of society (white people). As my boyfriend and I say (and unfortunately we're both in Corporate America), Black people are so conditioned to believe that we have to act like, think like, believe like white people and coordinate our dreams to fit the standards of white people in order to be deemed successful, in good social standings, etc.
Below is an e-mail that I sent in response to Frank Ski (a DJ on V103 in Atlanta). He was doing a show on social etiquette and how Blacks don't have it, so to speak. His reply to my first e-mail was basically, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Below is my response to him (and I think it is fitting for this thread as well).
And I am not directing this to anyone in particularly in this thread. Just expressing my general opinion.
'Well, while I agree with you that people should display some evidence of social etiquette, I do not agree in following all of white people's rules concerning it, which is what I believe you were or are doing. My grandmother would probably agree with you but then she is the same person who told me that I would have to play white people's games at work and in other areas of life in order to make things smooth. So like you, she was conditioned to believe that we cannot be who we really are in the presence of whites while still respecting them and others. It is that slave mentality that makes you, my grandmother and others believe that the natural ways or feelings of black people should not be exhibited in public. You know the phrase, "don't show your color". However as I have grown on my own, I have realized that you can maintain a level of social etiquette without losing yourself. This means that I am not going to perform (like some clown or entertainer) to the levels of whites or as you call them "Romans". Maybe you should start to question why you believe or do some of the things that you do and you just might find out that those are not your true feelings or beliefs and more so something you were "conditioned" to believe. I do not want you to think that I do not believe one should exhibit social etiquette because I do. I was raised right. But do not do things to the point of feeling uncomfortable just to fit in. When I was in college many people told me about certain rules of eating on recruiting and corporate dinners. Now, some of them are common sense table manners rules, however some are just ignorant and pointless. And it is funny because when I would be on recruiting dinners with black people they would be very loose and free in front of me yet still display good table manners. However, when we would be in the presence of whites they would become completely different. That, to me, sends the message that they do not believe they can be who they truly are in the presence of whites. I'll leave you with this, it's good to be aware of how Romans act, but keep in mind that you are not and never will be Roman. So when in Rome, act as you would in the presence of any other people but not as if you wish to be Roman.'