This is a very sensitive topic for me. I am completely, totally, without a shadow of a doubt pro-choice. I seriously could write a book about why I feel the way I do, but I'll limit it right now to just a few reasons and personal examples.
First, I feel no one should be able to tell a woman that she has to have a baby. I get so sick and tired of seeing all these sign-waving protesters harassing women at clinics!
Who gave them the right to tell someone else how she should live her life? How would they like it if a group of people decided to show up at their church as they are going to Sunday services and stand outside calling them names and screaming that they're going to hell because they don't follow the right doctrine? Or if a group of people found some past discretion in their lives and stood outside in public shouting about it to the world?
I'd be willing to bet that not a single one of those pro-life protesters has lived a 100% pious life and never made a mistake that they regret. It is for that reason that I firmly believe in the old saying, "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."
I have a very dear friend who got pregnant in college. She was using birth control pills and, unfortunately, got pregnant even though she was practicing responsible sex. Her boyfriend supported her decision to have the abortion because they were both young and didn't feel like they a) were ready to be parents and b) couldn't give a child everything that they would like him/her to have at that point in their lives. They also didn't feel it would be fair to foist the expense of a child on their parents who were the only family members who could have afforded to bring that child up in a proper manner. So, rather than bring a child into the world under poor circumstances, they chose to have an abortion. I stand by their decision totally, and I feel that if more women would sit down and think about what kind of life they would be providing for a child then they might realize that it is better to wait and have children when they are more financially and emotionally stable themselves.
Moving on... To me, I don't think ANYONE has the right to criticize a woman who has chosen to have an abortion unless they have been in that very same circumstance. That's why I have such an enormous problem with men who protest so loudly about the evils of abortion. I guess it's pretty easy for them to stand there and yell Bible verses, knowing full well that there is no way for them to EVER be in that position themselves.
It amazes me when I hear people preaching in interviews about how a woman should give her baby up for adoption instead of choosing to have an abortion. I'd like to know exactly how many pro-life supporters would actually accept a woman's offer if she suddenly turned to them outside an abortion clinic and said, "Okay, I'll have the baby -- but you and you alone have to adopt my child and give him/her a prosperous, happy upbringing. You can't find someone to adopt him - YOU have to do it yourself." It's really easy to adamantly say, "Sure, I'd take the baby," right now in theory -- but if an instance like that happened in real-life, how many of those people would really back up their pro-life words with actions? I would, just once, love to see someone do that. I can just picture the stunned, deer-in-a-headlight looks on the majority of those protesters' faces. (Carnation - I know you'd be one of the few opening your arms out immediately and I truly respect you for that!)
Don't get me wrong -- I agree that adoption is a wonderful thing, and I have several friends who are unable to have children who are planning to adopt in the near future. But adoption isn't the best option for everybody.
An example: A high school friend of mine got pregnant in college. Her mother, a staunch pro-life Catholic (I'm Catholic too, by the way), convinced my friend that she should have the baby and put it up for adoption. Although it was not what she truly wanted to do, my friend bowed to her mother's wishes and had the baby. This was 7 years ago, and the girl has had severe emotional problems ever since. Carrying a child for 9 months and then giving her up was too much for that sensitive 19 year old girl to handle and she has not been the same person since. Even her pro-life mother now admits that it was not in her daughter's best interests to have the child.
Now, I'm sure that pro-life folks can give me twice as many examples as I have to justify their beliefs. But here's one more before I close.
My boyfriend's mother planned to abort him. She and her husband had married young and already had one child. When she found out she was pregnant again (just a few months after her first child was born) she was very upset. She was worried about how they would provide for two small children at that point in their lives. They weren't living in a space to accommodate another child and couldn't afford to move into a larger house. Her husband wasn't making much money and their marriage wasn't doing very well. She was convinced that having an abortion was the best thing to do. Her husband talked her out of it and my boyfriend was born.
I love him dearly, and I'm glad that his mother changed her mind.
But, if you ask my boyfriend, he'll tell you without hesitation that he completely understands the way his mother felt and, even though he is obviously happy that she decided to go through with her pregnancy, he still feels that having a child isn't the best thing for everyone. He feels that every person's situation is different, and what is ideal for one is not always ideal for another. He refuses to judge someone on the choices they make and for that reason he is staunchly pro-choice.
Personally, I'd like to have every pro-lifer get pregnant unexpectedly one time and see how quickly some of their positions change. I personally have seen it happen twice in the past year alone. Once to a parent who suddenly found out her daughter was pregnant and the second time to a girl friend who, whenever the abortion topic was addressed, always made the comment, "well those girls are just being irresponsible... I would never be stupid enough to get in that position in the first place." (Unfortunately, there's never a dunce cap around when you need it.
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I'll close for now because this is getting rather long. I hope no one takes anything I've said as a "flame". However, like I said in the beginning, I feel very strongly about this issue and I get rather emotional about it. I understand that others do also. It's just so easy for people to stand around and judge others when they haven't been in the position themselves.