Quote:
Originally posted by KSig RC
BMac -
hey dude, thanks for taking care of my girlfriend, sorry she puked all over ya though. She's always pulling that "oh i just passed out there, i thought it was you, blahblahblah" shit. At least she called you by my name - she's been screaming "OH BILLYMAC" in bed for the last two weeks. She says it's the medication - i say who cares, i'm getting some.
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HAHAHHAHA.
You guys are too fuc**ng funny.
My crazy story is part of a drunken weekend in october I'll share later, but the last night, we had gone to a brothers party where all the brothers were auctioned off. (I wasnt on the auction table, thank you very much. i am not just a pretty face. I have feelings too). Anyway, about 2 am we end the party but remember that heather has booze at her place so I invite everyone over to heathers. We drink there till about 3:30, and then decide to go get in her hot tub (seats like 20 people) so we take our box of wine and head to the tub. (sidebar - we send clay back to heathers to get more booze and he 1, falls off the wall to heathers, falling 12 feet in his boxers, and 2 bangs on heathers door to wake her up scraming "hooker, we need more booze, and if ya lucky I'll give ya something in return" to discover he was banging on the WRONG apartment door. HAHAHAH.) Anyway, we proceede to skinny dip with the ladies, yada (we kept it clean) were really loud and drunk and were throwing each other in the pool, freezing our nuts off, etc. (I also became the naked guy at that party, had NO SHAME and let half the school see my junk)
Anyway, so 5 of us head back to my apartment to crash out. Its about 6 am. we all pass out. (funny sidebar, ritchie, the chapter drunk decides to get outta the car on the way to my place at a stoplight and run around the car half clothed. Gets almost all the way around the car and disappears at the front corner panel. He busted his a$$ and was covered in a giant scab for two weeks.) So were back at my place and I got people sleeping EVERYWHERE. I PASS OUT in my bed and wake up at about 8:30 am and I can feel someone in my bed. I wake up and HOLY FU**ING $HIT its a five year old little girl. My first thought is WTHF???? I know I was drunk, but I seriously dont think I could get THAT drunk. so I jump outta bed waiting for the cops to come busting in the door or soemthing. ( I was fully clothed, as was the kid, but still, this is gotta be illegal), so I look around, and all my friends are asleep. So I am really freaking out and thinking of going to prison and the a$$ rapeing I am bound to recieve there. When in walks Beth. I am sure I probably looked really freaked, because she said, dont worry the kid is with us. Apparently, I passed out and Beth realized she had lost her keys, so about 8AM, she called her friend Amber who I had never met, but has a kid. Amber came over to take Beth to get her spare set. They decided to look in the parking lot for them. they left Brittney in my room playing with her dolls, and apparently she was still tired, because she climed up into my bed and drifted off to sleep. She was only asleep for 20 minutes while the girls were out. So I dont have to go to prison after all, but will never forget the image of rolling over and finding a 5 year old curled up in my bed and me freaking out and making plans to escape to Mexico.