Quote:
|
Originally Posted by LuckBeAKD
I've done some searches about transfer and affiliation and I haven't been able to find the answers I'm looking for. I thought maybe some of y'all would be kind enough to help.
I am currently a sophomore initiated member of Kappa Delta at a small/medium sized school. I love my school and I love my sisters even more, but due to financial reasons I am forced to transfer next semester to another school where I can receive in-state tuition. Unfortunately, this means I will have to leave all my friends and sisters behind. This dissappointment was somewhat appeased when I realized there was a Kappa Delta chapter at the school I plan to transfer to. However, I was very recently dissapointed to hear that due to the popularity of this chapter on campus, others in the past have not been accepted for affiliation.
This is really discouraging for me to hear. While I think I'm pretty, nice, and very active in my chapter (Asst. Recruitment Chair). I'm worried that I am not on par with the girls of this chapter. Although KD is a strong chapter on my campus, recruitment at my school is not nearly as cutthroat as at this school. I'm so worried that aside from not knowing many people at this large school, my sisters will not accept me.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What can I expect when I request to affiliate? I love being a part of my sorority and I know I will feel so hurt if I can't continue to be an active collegiate member of KD.
I'm also really worried that even if they let me affiliate, I still won't fit in. I'm not trying to discount myself, my chapter at my current school is pretty competetive and they chose me to become a sister. However, this school is a different league entirely. I know this is a terrible thing to worry my sisters won't want me, but I really am nervous about transferring to such an enormous school where I won't know anyone, and maybe won't even have my sisters.
Sorry for such a long post, but if anyone can give me some information or just encouragement, I would really appreciate it. I also don't want to reveal either school, as I haven't broken it to my sisters yet that I will be transferring. 
Thanks for listening,
Lauren |
As I am
not a member of Kappa Delta, I absolutely cannot speak for that sorority. That's my disclaimer, so in order to really answer your question about affiliation, you have to talk to the appropriate people in KD.
However, I can speak very generally about my personal experiences with people who've gone through an affiliation process and hopefully you'll get some comfort out of it!
From what I understand, sometimes it doesn't matter how involved you are with your current chapter, how wonderful of a person you are or how well you'd fit in with the girls of the new chapter -- it may just be their policy at that time to not accept transfer affiliates and it has nothing to do with you. It's not necessarily that they won't want you, it may just be a policy that nobody on the chapter level can do anything about. You are a member of your sorority because other members saw in you the qualities they seek for membership. If you cannot affiliate, for whatever reason, that does not take away from the fact that you are and always will be a KD.
In my own personal experience with AXO, we've had girls affiliate from other schools and girls from our chapter have transferred and affiliated at other universities. In both cases, these girls have gone through periods of uncertainty -- they've asked themselves "Do I really fit in here? Do these girls really want me here, or are they just appeasing me?" I am happy to say that these fears have been unfounded and all of these women have gone on to be successful and valued members of their new chapters. I'm not going to lie, there was an adjustment period -- for themselves and their new chapter while they were getting to know one another -- but they said it was no more "uncomfortable" than their new member period and once they made a few friends, everything was fine.
If you do affiliate, you have to trust yourself. There are all different types of women in every chapter, and you are bound to find members you click with. I think your fears and worries are natural, but if you do affiliate, I really think that you'll definitely find other members with common interests.
Finally, think about whether or not you would want to try affiliating right away (this may or may not be feasible depending on KD's rules). Transferring schools is a huge change and, if possible, maybe you'd want to wait a semester. That way you can get settled in, and possibly "test the waters" with that KD chapter by getting to know some women. At the very least, you might have so much adjusting to do in your new environment that it would be stress overload for you to try affiliating with a new chapter. Just a thought.
Talk to someone in KD right away, because all my stories and advice will be useless if this is not feasible -- only KD can let you know how to definitely proceed. Good luck with everything, and I wish you the best with your transfer!