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The thank-you note will be more important than any hostess gift. Trust me. If you date this guy or marry him, years from now his mother will talking smack behind your back about the fact that you never thanked her.
Of course, once you send the note, she'll make a huge fuss: Oh you shouldn't have, it was our pleasure, such a nice girl, Harry look at the nice note I got the shiksa our son is dating, such a nice girl.
Religious or not, it's a strong cultural thing.... Food is universally accepted. Yes, it is a sterotype, but it is really the truth. Flowers and alcohol, not so much our thing.
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