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When we were growing up wine at table was more normal than not. Almost always at dinner and often at lunch if it was a substantial meal. Unless we were just grabing a burger there was always wine with meals when we ate at a restaurant. At home we were allowed a small glass and the connection was explained between the specific course and the specific wine. It was no big deal and effectively deglamorized drinking and made it simply something to enhance the food. This was usually at home but sometimes out, often if we ate at a 'good' restaurant. The wine steward usually asked Dad if we should be given a taste, particularly if it was a really good wine. Not PC but very effective and educational. I don't remember when we started to be included, it was simply not a big deal.
We were always expected to demonstrate good manners out of respect for family and guests and, if out, then respect for other diners who were not there to see us act like brats. As I said in an earlier post, we were allowed to blow off steam when appropriate but bad manners were not tolerated. It became natural to us to conduct ourselves with consideration and restraint. When called on this by guys who thought we were not sufficiently gross to be "real men", well, lets just say that at 6'2" and 185 lbs from early high school for me and 6'3" 200 lbs for my brother, both of us rugby and rowing guys, these comments were only made once. We were taught not to look for trouble and to avoid it if possible, but as Dad often said, "Being a gentleman does not equate to being a wimp, be prepared to demonstrate this when you need to".
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