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Lost Bet
In the early days of the internet, someone there posted a link to a page on "Dear Lucie" (www.lucie.com), which is a Dear Abby type site for young adults. I printed the page out and today, while going through a stack of old papers, I came across it. It was posted, I think, in 1999. I went to lucie.com and didn't find it in the archives,
PART I
Dear Lucie--I have a very unusual problem and would appreciate any help you can give me. I am a freshman at a university and a member of a sorority. Recently we participated in a charity fund-raiser with several other sororities. To encourage more competition we made a pact that the sorority raising the least money would shave the head of one of its members. Although I did not like the idea, I went along with it. I don't really think most of us took the bet very seriously. We lost, and to choose who was to be shorn, we drew from a deck of cards to see who would get the lowest one. Well, I drew a "two!"
Now everyone is excited about it; even the girls in my own house think it is a neat thing to do. They claim this was done several years ago and the girl looked great without hair. I think it is just because I have very long beautiful hair and many people are jealous of it and want me to cut it off. (My hair is blonde and 21 inches long). I can't stand the thought of being bald. Everyone says I will look great, even without hair. Even my boyfriend, who adores long hair, doesn't seem to mind! He says he will still love me even if I don't have any hair. He agrees that I will look great. (My parents don't know about this yet. I can't possibly tell them I'm going to be shaved. I did tell my older sister and she was horrified and says I should not do it even if I have to give up the sorority. We are very close and I value her opinion, but I feel trapped into this. I don't want to quit the sorority because I have many friends here).
We are having a big party with the other sororities after Spring Break and that is when they are going to do it.
Yesterday they bought an electric hair clipper, razor, and a can of shaving cream, so I know they are serious. One of the girls told me today that they are going to ride me around campus in a convertible after the shave so everyone can see me.
Lucie, I know it is just hair, and will grow back, and I know I was foolish to go along with the bet, but I just can't stand the thought of losing my hair. There is no way I can tell you how upset I am over this. Most of the girls in the house read your column and pay attention to what you say. If there is anything you can suggest which will change their minds, I will forever be grateful to you.
Upset
Dear Upset--Your letter is long, but I wanted to publish it so my reply will be brief. In addition, it will be directed mostly to your sorority sisters.
Every girl in every sorority who took time to raise money for charity deserves praise not punishment--cheers not jeers.
I feel sure that if these charities were aware of these plans, they would strongly oppose them.
As far as your sister not wanting her hair shorn, this is more than just a vanity issue. This demoralizing technique has been used throughout history.
I have no problem with healthy competition, but I feel this is too much. You are putting this girl in a terrible bind: she must choose between you her "sisters" and suffering embarrassment for some time to come. What is the point? How many of you feel that the idea is so harmless that you are willing to fall in line behind her. What do you pledge to each other as sisters?
PART II
Dear Lucie- A couple of years ago I wrote to you for advice and I do not believe I ever wrote to thank you for your response.
You may not recall, but the sorority of which I am a member lost a contest, and the penalty was to shave the head of one of the members and I was selected. I did not want to have my long blond hair cut off and did not know what to do. I still have your reply
in my scrapbook.
I want to let you know what finally happened. The sorority did not want to call it off. Therefore, unbelievably, one of my best friends volunteered to be shaved in my place. Her hair was almost as long as mine. I could not let her take my place, so I let them shave me.
Before the event I confided in my parents, and to my surprise they agreed I should do it. They were supportive all through it. At the time of the shave another of my friends offered to be shaved to. So all three of us were shaved together. My hair has now grown long again, and I am going to let it keep growing until it either stops or gets down to the floor.
I learned several lessons, which I would like to share with you:
*don’t be afraid to get advice
*Stick to your commitments. People will respect you. (Very few people made fun of us while we were bald).
*Value your friends and pick them carefully. (Frankly, I doubt if I would have volunteered to take anyone's place).
*Trust and confide in your parents, mine were great.
*Don't get yourself into things you don't want to go through with.
*Make the best of bad situations. (Even though the actual shearing was the worst experience of my life, we still managed to have fun bald. Most people said we were still pretty).
*Finally, you can survive almost anything, even being slick bald!
Therefore, even though you could not save my hair, you tried and that is what counts. Thanks a million, Lucie.
A Friend
P.S. I kept before and after photos to remind myself. They took off my hair with clippers, put lather all over my head, and shaved me again with a razor. It was horrible and humiliating at the same time, but I'm glad I went through with it.
Dear Friend- Thanks so much for the update on your dilemma. I have often wondered what the long and short of such a hair-raising experience was.
Seriously, your advice is great and can be applied to ANY of life's situations. I appreciate your kind words and your taking the time to share.
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