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Tell everyone they're morons.
Abuse your interns.
Close your office door and talk dirty to your girlfriend.
Tell your coworkers they're homos.
Tell your coworkers that the quiet guy is gay.
Close your office door and talk dirty to the girl you're cheating on your girlfriend with.
If you think you may get fired, quit, but not before downloading child porn on your boss' computer and calling the FBI the next day.
Remember you're always right. If anyone gets in the way, chew them up and spit them out.
Wear those really big condoms. Girls love it.
-Rudey
--And don't forget to tell your mom you love her because that's important too.
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