Sweet Jebus, I go out of town for two days and this thread explodes. I'll try and remember everything.
RE: BFing and infertility/miscarriages. I've had two miscarriages (consecutive, less than 5 months apart) and never once was I "offended" by people with babies in any way. I was sad and I was wistful, but I was never offended. I knew they had no control over how I reacted to them, that was completely my deal. Now that I have a child of my own, I try to be thoughtful of those who may be going through what I went through but I don't completely change my way of life for it.
RE: Attachment Parenting. I have a lot of friends who do variations of APing. Some are complete Extended BFing, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, co-sleeping parents. Some are just BFing and CDing parents. Some are baby wearers and co-sleepers. As with anything in life, you have to figure out what works best for
you and you alone. To hell with Ferber, Weissbluth or the Sleep lady or your neighbor, church friend or coworker. Figure out what works for you, but don't judge someone if they choose to do something different. Their baby is not your baby, and they may not react the same yours does. FWIW I'm a modified co-sleeper (he goes to sleep in his crib, but we bring him in with us when he wakes for the first time in the morning). I have a ring sling that I've never gotten to work and a front carrier which is very uncomfortable. I'd love a Maya wrap, Mei Tai or a Mei Hip carrier (probably not yet, though as my son doesn't quite have good enough head control) but just haven't gotten around to getting one yet. Weak excuse? Probably, but that's how it is. He slept in his swing for the first two months because that's what worked for us, and we still use it when we need to get things done around the house. My son gets plenty of holding and cuddle time. He knows we love him.
RE: Pumping/working. I chose to go back to work at 7 weeks. Could I have stayed home, possibly, but it would have taken a lot of sacrifice and budgeting, neither of which my husband nor I were in the proper mindset to discuss and decide after my son was here. I had a low milk supply. Not alleged, definitive as told by a Lactation Consultant. I tried a slew of remedies to increase it: oatmeal, fenugreek, Mother's Milk Tea, power pumping, using a supplemental nursing system, NOTHING would help it increase. Once I went back to work, it tanked completely. I was dry within a week. Obviously, pumping at work was not something I could do. I
wanted to BF, desperately. I am still having a difficult time accepting my failed nursing relationship and my son is 5 months old. My oldest sister was able to pump at work and nurse her son for 11 months (until he bit her and she decided that was it). My other sister is a SAHM to two beautiful girls. Due to supply issues, she was only able to BF her oldest for about 4 months. She BFed her youngest for about 8 but had to stop due to my niece's food allergies (that niece also has a medical condition and they were concerned about her gaining enough weight) Again, it all depends on the person and their individual situation.
I don't know if it's that our society has become more child-friendly, it's that some parents are treating their children not as children but more as equals and expect them to do everything the parents do (and thereby make others do the same). I don't necessarily agree with that, nor do I agree with
Helicopter Parenting (which I have experienced in my 5 years as an advisor). I do know that I have ideas of how I would like to raise my children, but those are not set completely in stone. A lot will depend on individual situations. And, those ideas are mine and mine alone. How other people decide to raise their children is completely up to them, and I will not judge or interfere (unless there is abuse).