Dear person in the office:
thank you for cleaning out my cubicle. Now if you can find those three cases of mine that YOU lost, that would be extremely helpful. And don't come to me with some bs because YOU can't keep your schedule straight!! We were supposed to have met over a MONTH ago. If you bring that up, I will politely show you the date and time YOU chose and I marked in MY calendar and the monthly scheduled meeting with me that did not occur. Please don't try to get shady on this b/c I HAVE my backups ready.
Give me three months, and I am UP OUT THIS PIECE!!!!