http://www.hopalong.com/home.asp
The link sets the mood for this tale-
In HS I was set up with a guy from Kerville Tx. He came to the door and boy, was he HUGE! After the "pleasantries", he looks at his watch-"Hoppy says it's time to go!" I'm thinking, he's wearing a BUNNY watch?!? He's real proud as it's a piece of memorabelia. We get in his TRUCK with the gun rack minus the gun and head off to have dinner. We end up at BIG BOYS where he orders fries with cheese, chili and onions. It's all over his face and he keeps missing a chunk in the corner of his mouth. I could barely look at him in the first place...
Before we leave, I go to the restroom and when I come out, I didn't notice, but I have some TP stuck on my shoe. He BELLOWS it all over the Big Boys so I try to become invisible.
We get in his TRUCK and are going to a movie. He's driving 80 mph down Ocean Dr. and I'm scared to death and yelling at him to slow down. Out comes the BOTTLE. Then he sees the park. The park where people PARK and pulls in. It was a battle for about 15 min. but it SEEMED like HOURS. I'm about ready to stick my finger down my throat to convince him I'm sick so he will take me home. Finally, he gets the point and we depart. We pull up to my house and he reaches across me to open my door, but instead tries for "action". He stunk SOOO bad I had to push him away and almost role out of the TRUCK! Now, I have nothing against trucks except, I was told to dress nice -dinner and a movie-and I SWEAR there was something DEAD hidden in all the trash that covered the floor and seat.
This still doesn't hold a candle to the guy who vomited all over the bus. Maybe we should just copy that post!