[proudmom]

First of all, I'm not meaning to exclude ANYONE! But I think that rush from a mom's perspective and from a PNM's perspective is differently, obviously. I participate in several on-line forums where there is a "parents place" and it's a safe, comfortable place where parents can ask questions, vent, support, etc. other parents going through similar experiences. And as I watch some of the recruitment threads start to pop-up, I thought maybe the moms out there (and dads are welcome too although I haven't seen too many of them on this site, LOL!) could gather and share.

When I went through rush way too long ago, I was totally clueless and made some of the stereotypical mistakes (the main one being of only liking the group that I wanted to be like, not the ones I would already fit into and being incredibly close-minded) and not surprisingly was cut and then dropped out. Luckily, a year later, my future sorority re-colonized and I joined that and had a wonderful time.

My daughter rushed twice - as a freshman (not-so-wonderful experience) and as a sophomore - where she found her home and is very happy. It was agonizing both times with the second being almost worst than the first. First time around, I helped her get a rec to every group, advised, helped shop for rush clothes, made sure to get updates every step of the way and cried just as harder (if not harder - it'd be a close race) as she did when it didn't work out. Second time around, I did very little knowing that it was all on her. I got one (glowing) rec to the house she was most interested in (that cut her anyway), offered the credit card if she wanted to go shopping, and let her contact me when she was good and ready. But I was on pins and needles every second of every day during rush (it took 5 days) thinking of her CONSTANTLY. I tried very, very hard not to let her know how high my anxiety was because I did not want to put any undue stress on her. I tried to remain calm (especially when I did talk to her), think that "whatever will be, will be" and leave it all up to her.

I think if she knew how anxious I was feeling she would have said I was way too over-involved in the whole thing and she may have been right. But that was my little girl out there and my gut reaction is to protect her at all times and want so desperately for her to be happy. When it's your baby (I don't care how old she is), and you know how much it means to her and how badly you don't want her to get hurt and how happy you are for her when it all works out, it's overwhelmingly emotional for us moms. When she called to tell me that she had gotten a bid, I was ecstatic and cried such tears of joy for her (after I hung up!).

So for you moms out there, good luck to your daughters. And if need be, stop by here and let some of us other been-there, done-that moms help prop you up.

And for you daughters - if you've read this far - your mom is ALWAYS there for you, no matter what happens. We love you...just because. We don't love you any more if you pledge ABC and we don't love you any less if you get cut from ABC, we just love because you're our daughter!!