dekeguy,
Good to see you again! Times have indeed changed since your relatives were involved. It is different from what it was 6 years ago. If you go to the JLNO web site, it lays things out pretty much like these ladies have explained.
http://www.jlno.org/?nd=joinjlno Now, what they do in private maybe another story.
If you go to the letter from the Provisional Committee Co-Chairwomen, they actually state that a Sponsor Group (2 members now, it used to be 4) will be found for you if you don't know anyone in JLNO! An older neighbor, she's 80, about fell off her chair when I showed it to her. She said that she tried to get into the "right" circles so that she could join but an invitation never came.
Regarding the Boston Club, I was in the library the other day and came a across a BC membership book. It was published in 1950 and had the history constitution, by-laws, and the name of every member to date. I found a similar book for the Orleans Club too.