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Originally Posted by Wine&SilverBlue
For example, I may not drink, but I would date a girl that drinks socially because I respect the fact that we are different however, I would tell her occasionally out of compassion that I don't like it because the overall negative affects it can have on her and its just a really unattractive look for her when she does it. Sure I would be happy if she found the rational to stop but if she didn't the only thing that I would do is pray that it doesn't affect her too bad in the future.
As I said earlier, the attitude and reasoning behind the decisions would matter more to me than the decisions themselves. The "compassionate nagging" and the "I'll pray for you" attitude are MUCH MUCH bigger turnoffs to me than the fact that a guy doesnt drink. I'd prefer a guy whose drinking habits matched my own, but if they didn't it wouldn't be a dealbreaker - an attitude like this, however, would be.
I'm not saying it's "wrong" or "bad" to have that perspective, and I'm sure there are girls out there who who prefer a preachy guy who shares their values, but I personally would run far far away.
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How is it preachy? That's like with any couple...one half may have an annoying habit that the other particularly doesn't like and vise versa. But they live with it just as long as it doesn't get out of control. Nothing is wrong with tellin the other person, you don't like it...not to preach to them but actually to let them know that you care enough about them that you wouldn't want something bad to result from the habit. So like I said, it comes from caring about the person and not imposing "your will" on them.