[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by bcdphie

This is a difficult question to answer: I have a friend who is morbidly obese. Obviously she knows she is far too heavy, however does nothing about it. She will start to exercise, but give up quite easily, and has no healthy eating habits.

Here's my concern: she has been very sick for almost a decade now. She is continuing to gain weight, and has had more health problems in the last year than entire 16 years we've been friends. I, and other friends, are very concerned for her health. Even her doctor has told her she needs to start leading a healthier life style.

I have been going to Curves for 17 months now and love it, and even got her going, but she just doesn't stick with it. I then did their 6-week challenge, really trimmed up, but took away the knowledge of how to eat really healthy. I told my friend (all my friends, actually) how much fun I had it with, and how it has changed my life - my subtle way, I suppose, of showing my concern for her.

Another friend of hers, who is also a very good friend of mine, has talked at length with me about how concerned she is for our friend. Obviously, the choice is up to our friend - no one but her can choose to begin live a healthier life, but we are just so scared that if she keeps on living the way she is, we won't have a friend to be worried/concerned about anymore.

Are you saving your friend's feelings by not saying anything, because they obviously know they are overweight; or are you hurting your friend because you are standing by, watching her dig her own grave, but feel you shouldn't say or do anything because that would just be insulting?

This one is tough b/c I'm willing to bet her health issues are being triggered by her weight. Look at what has gone on in her life. Is there anything could be seen as a trigger? Some people are predispositioned to be on the heavier side. (I had to have that discussion with my 12 year old cousin. I had to convience her that people who are 5'8" at age 12 were never meant to be a size 2.) But no one is predispostioned to be morbidly obese. Why have things like Curves worked for you but she can't stick with it? What is it that turns her off? Before you can get her to really get into weight loss those are some issues that need to be looked at. Like several others have said, showing concern for the friend in a tactful manner is the most important thing. Make about her and how much you care for your friend and her health.