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Originally Posted by kdonline
Of COURSE we all would tell a PNM @ a competitive school to get a rec. But the way you all pound it in...it's really unnerving. Sure she should know what she's getting into - or, how the competition (other PNMs) are jockeying for that coveted bid. But we shouldn't scare PNMs into thinking that just because they don't have a rec to one sorority, doesn't mean that they will 100% get dropped.
I think we all agree about EDUCATING everyone about how recommendations can help...but from the way everyone here is INSISTING, a PNM would think she has zero chance of getting asked back to any sorority. Yes, she can be the exception to the rule - but it happens.
My main gripe is the frenzy that you all get worked up into, regarding recommendations. It's enough to scare even a triple legacy.
Anyway, too often, a majority of recs are simply a re-telling of the PNM's resume. A recommendation should be more than that.
Rather than telling PNMs to ask an alumna for a rec, we should be looking at the quality of our recommendations (and yes, I'm speaking for myself too). Instead of a PMN saying, "Can you write a rec for my sorority?" we should reply, "Why would you want me to recommend you to my sorority?"
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People here are trying to be honest and not blow sunshine up pnm's asses. Yes there are schools where things like recs are completely unnecessary. But there are also schools where recs are pretty much a requirement, especially if a pnm wants to be able to look at all of the sororities fairly. It's nice to sit here and think that a sorority at Ole Miss is going to go out of its way to contact alumnae in a pnm's town and get a rec for her if she doesn't have one, but let's be realistic here, there are like 900+ girls rushing at Ole Miss, most of which have 2-3 recs. At that point it becomes an unnecessary hassle for them and it gets to be easier to just cut the girl than worry about getting her a rec.