[kdonline]

I just posted this in the Sorority Alumnae Yahoogroup.

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Every sorority - esp at SEC schools, where all the GCers seem to be enthralled with - have "reference chairmen." These are 2-3 members who are not rushing, and all they do is coordinate recommendations for PNMs. They match up the recs they've received ahead of time, and they list who still does not have one...and get to work on it. Yes, ladies, chapters actually make an effort to get recs on girls who we feel could be New Members. There are also 1-2 "Computer Coordinators" who do all the computer stuff...and some houses even have "Legacy Chairs" to ensure that all chapter members know who the legs are coming through.

And how does the chapter will get a rec on a girl? You see, it's really not a problem IF YOUR CHAPTER REQUIRES RECOMMENDATIONS (many do not). Each sorority publishes a list of reference contacts for cities all over the country. For example, I am still listed as Kappa Delta's contact for Miami, FL...no one else has stepped up to the job. (It's fine by me, because as a former teacher, I still have contacts in the area who can help me.)

So, I will get a letter or an email BEFORE RUSH from the rec chairmen at various schools - from huge schools like Auburn & Vanderbilt to smaller schools like Appalachian State & Lenoir Rhyne. And of course, all the Florida schools. These letters have the names & high schools of PNMs who - based on their rush applications - the chapter is interested in. They ask me (as the listed Miami KD reference contact) to write a recommendation on them. I oblige, if I can.

Okay, rush starts. There are still PNMS who don't have recs. They are rushed first round, are well-received, and their names are given to the aforementioned reference chairmen. These women will check the list provided by HQ, and then call the alumnae listed for help. So, during Rush Week, we Reference Contacts will get phone calls or emails, listing these PNMs. (And as you can probably guess, we KNOW we are all on standby during this time.) Even an alumna in Iowa will get a call to find a rec on that sweet girl from Iowa who is rushing at a Florida school.

The last way a chapter will get a rec for a PNM is during one of the rounds. There are always alumnae there helping, of all ages. So, the rusher will guide the rushee over to an alumna. "Mrs. D, this is Katie. She's a freshman from Miami. Katie, this is Mrs. D. She is an alumna from our chapter/graduated last year/whatever the case." More small talk, as what happens in rush. But notice how the rusher guided Katie to an alumna who is from Miami? The small talk might help in writing the rec; ie "Oh! You went to Palmetto High School?! The activities director was my student!"

And so afterwards, the alum will write the rec. She may or may not call her contact in Miami for more backup information, but the PNM had officially met an alumna, and all is well. Even if a mutual connection was not made, the PNM still met the alumna.

So there you have it. You see, there are many many ways that the chapters work to get recommendations for PNMs. It's not necessary to tell a PNM she will die in rush w/out a rec, because she won't. No one is lying. Instead, by the way you all are insisting on it on greekchat.com, a PNM will believe that if she contacts all these alumnae, she's going to get a bid. And it's not that way. They might just get invited back to 2nd round...and not by the sorority's choice. That's why the big drop happens after 2nd round...because many of the girls who had recs ahead of time just were not what the sorority was looking for.

And as for the dress code/wearing jeans..? Sure, that happens occasionally. But simply wearing jeans is not a reason to drop a girl. How she LOOKS in the jeans will, though: are they superlow that she's revealing her butt when she sits on the floor? Are they ripped & torn? Just like those jeans are not appropriate for important occasions At most schools, the PNMs attend mandatory recruitment orientations, where they are told all of this.

But back to the recs.... it's amazing how many PNMs think, because of all the insisting on having a rec, that they will get a bid from a sorority. It doesn't. Maybe it will get the PNM to 2nd round (and please don't think that a chapter won't drop a totally incompatible girl even with a rec), but after that, it's up to the PNM & the chapter to click.

And yes, many of these PNMs (on greekchat & otherwise) truly ARE incompatible with some sororities. Believe me, I know.

Why am I so vocal about this? Well, because - as someone who has been directly involved with recommendations for 22 years - I feel the greekchat crowd has created this belief that is, in a way, mean-spirited towards the PNMs who post there. "GET A REC!" you all scream. And like for 20 messages in a thread; you all say the same thing. It's almost as bad as "keep smiling - you'll find a house for you!" but at least those are friendly.

So yeah...jump off the bandwagon. Recruitment isn't more cut-throat than it was 20-50 years ago. If anything, it's become easier to join a sorority than back then, because times have changed...yes, even in SEC schools.