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We drank incredible amounts of alcohol in my chapter, and we never had a problem. Thus, I propose that schools outside of the SEC and a few others (Texas, of course, W&L, etc...) attend a mandatory alcohol class. In this class, we will slowly raise the tolerance of these young men, and while doing so wane them from their smirnoff ice addictions. The course schedule will be something like this....
Week One: An Introduction to Bourbon: Save the Rum for the Girls
Week Two: Beer: If you're a Man, and you're Drinking a 12 ounce Beverage from a Clear Bottle, Kill Yourself.
Week Three: TEST-Drink a 12 pack without throwing up or doing stupid things
Week Four: Advanced Class-Scotch
Week Five: Its Beer Pong, Not Beirut, and Put the Funnel Away, Loser
Week Six: Final Exam- Drink a Fifth of Jim Beam and a 12 pack over the course of a day, and perform a rendition of The Road Goes On Forever. If you don't know the words, you fail, and must proceed to take Good Music 101.
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